"It's a Mulderful Life" by Caroline O'Connell ginger@cyberia.ie Story: S, A, H. Classification: PG (language mainly.) Set: Christmas, present time.. Spoilers: Minor one for Drive. Disclaimer: Jingle Bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Please don't sue, I'll be blue. I've no money anyway. Oh!... (repeat to fade.) Archive: Anywere it may be appreciated, once I retain writer's credit (such as it is!) *Already archived to Gossamer* Summary: "You've an over developed sense of melodrama and a scorching case of food poisoning." - Mulder finds out from his Guardian Angel what life would be like without him. Note: This is a sequel of sorts to "Clarity", where Mulder meets his Guardian Angel. It's not necessary to read the first part (but I don't mind if you do!). Apologies to Frank Capra! **************************************************************************= "It's a Mulderful Life." December 23, 1998 "I'm going to die." Mulder thought, gasping for air after another bout of violent retching and throwing up. "It'll be like Elvis." He slumped away from the bowl and leant against the wall. They'll find me dead in the toilet." Shivering as he wiped perspiration from his face, he dragged the nearby blanket around him. "I'm going to die and I hope it's sooner rather than later because I feel like..." His stomach started to heave again. "Oh God..." And once again, Mulder found himself hugging the toilet bowl. He had been in there for over an hour. What started as an uneasy feeling before settling down for the night turned into a complete inability to keep food and liquids down. The first set of tablets he had taken had no effect on settling his stomach. He hoped the second ones might make a difference...The couldn't hurt, the way he felt. Finally, he mustered the strength to clean his face and stagger back to the couch. Mulder slumped down and huddled under the blanket. If this illness continued, Christmas was going to be hell. Why should this Christmas be any different? Most of them since Samantha was taken sucked bigtime. He hadn't even made plans. The choice was between visiting his mother, or staying in DC alone. He had yet to decide which was going to be easier?. Probably the latter. Exhausted by his illness, but unable to sleep, Mulder began contemplating his pitiful existence. He had been doing that a lot lately. "That bastard, Spender still has my X-Files." Mulder thought. "I'm stuck in the bull pen doing crap assignments, quite literally in some cases. And Scully? She should have left when they threatened her with Utah. She only stayed because I pleaded with her. So, I'm not only screwing up my life, I'm screwing up hers aswell... I am a waste of space." His stomach growled. "I wish I had never been born." "Oh give it a rest!" A woman sighed loudly. Mulder tried to sit up, but was too weak. "Scully?" He squinted in the half light that filled the room from the street lights outside. "Wrong redhead, kid." A familiar face smiled at him. "Angel?" He thought back to the last time he saw her. "Oh my God. I'm tripping!" "Yeah, whatever." Angel muttered, sitting on the table in front of him. She placed her hand on his forehead. "You're burning up. Why didn't you call a doctor?" "I didn't want to bother Scully." Mulder said. "There's more than one doctor in this city." She said. "The redhead doesn't even practice." "Am I going to die? Is that why you're here?" "You have an over developed sense of melodrama and a scorching case of food poisoning." Angel ruffled his hair, knowing he hated it. "And what's with the haircut?" He just glared at her. "Anyway, you and 17 other agents all drank a bad batch of eggnog at your office party earlier." The nauseous feeling got worse. "I'm going to die." Mulder whined, clutching his sore sides. Angel ignored him and picked up the bottle of tablets Mulder had been taking. "Two to be taken every 4 - 6 hours. How many did you take?" "The first ones didn't work." he protested. "They make childproof locks," Angel sighed. "I wish they'd make stupid adults who think they know better than professionals - proof locks." "So that's why you're here again." Mulder said. Angel last appeared during a very vivid hallucination brought on by an overdose of a drug nicknamed Clarity. "Probably. Either that or you are going to die!" She sat back on the table. "If the food poisoning doesn't get you, the self pity should." "Oh, leave me alone." Mulder groaned curling into a ball. "Take some water." She offered him a glass. "You're dehydrated." "I can't." he pushed it away. "I don't think I could feel worse if I tried." "I hate Christmas." Angel sighed. "You get all morose - more so than usual, this year - you think you're useless. And nobody loves you and you think everyone would be better off if you never been born." He nodded in agreement. "Okay, George Bailey. Let's see exactly what would have happened had you're sorry ass not existed!" She hauled him off the couch. "Language, please!" Mulder said, astonished that his Guardian Angel would make such a remark. "I never said I was a saint." *** Chilimark, Mass. "This isn't our home." Mulder said, looking around the sparsely furnished apartment. He picked up a framed photo of his parents with Samantha. He remembered the day it was taken, although he remembered being in it too. Angel had done it. He didn't exist. "No, this is a nursing home where your mother lives." Angel explained. "Certain things are meant to happen, no matter what you wish for. Your sister was still taken. Your parents still split up and unfortunately, your mother still had that stroke. She didn't recover very well." Mulder looked at the woman in the wheelchair. She looked like his Mom, but any resemblance ended there. "Teena Mulder's stroke left her partially paralysed and brain damaged." Angel. The woman stared through her son like he wasn't there. Mulder thought for a moment. He wasn't there. She couldn't see him because he didn't exist. "Who looks after her?" "The staff take care of her. Your father pays the bills." "My dad's alive?" Mulder brightened. "See, there's an improvement already. My Dad's dead." "He exists under the thumb of his consortium friends." Angel sighed. "Without you to protect, he threw himself into his work. He and your Smoking Man are a real nice piece of work." She could barely hide the bitterness in her voice. "I know he's your dad, but now that you don't exist, he's an evil son of a bitch." "Oh." Mulder couldn't think of anything to say. "Weren't expecting that, were you?" Angel gently placed her hand on his shoulder. He couldn't take his eyes off his mother. Yes, they'd had a difficult relationship, but he still loved her. "We have to go now." She took his hand. *** Assistant Director Skinner's Office FBI Headquarters. "Don't tell me he's involved with them." Mulder said as he watched Skinner argue with Bill Mulder. "Sir, I have seen a preliminary report." Skinner said to him. "And the results are inconclusive at best." "The fact that a report was made at all is what concerns me." Bill Mulder said. "It should never been investigated this far." "I understand, Sir." Skinner said, looking at his desk like a 5 year old being admonished "No, Mr Skinner." Bill Mulder said forcefully. "I'll take care of it."= And he walked out of the office. "He looks well." Mulder said sarcastically as he and Angel followed behind. Bill Mulder strode purposefully through the corridor looking younger and fitter than Mulder remembered in the years leading up to his death. "It's not the Norman Rockwell painting you expected, huh?" Angel shrugged. "At least he's alive." "Cold comfort, kid." Angel said as Mulder tried to justify his father's actions. "What about the Lone Gunmen." Mulder asked, changing the subject. "I've always wondered what they get up to when I'm not there." "There is no 'Lone Gunmen'." Angel said. "Why, what happened?" "Byers, Langley and Frohike met at that covention in Baltimore where they also met Dr Suzanne Modeski." Angel explained as they continued following Mulder's father. "The agent investigating her wasn't as lucky as you. Agent Charlie Shaw was shot and killed and your friends were charged and convicted of his murder." "What?" Mulder could barely believe what he was hearing. "They were set up well. Byers was accused of being the shooter and the other 2 accomplices. They used their backrounds against them creating this 'disgruntled Government employee meets techie outsiders' conspiracy." Angel paused. "Byers was executed on 5 May 1996. Langley and Frohike are still behind bars. You see, you weren't there to coroberate their story." "Oh my God. But they..." Mulder started. "Also, Eugene Tooms got his 5 livers and is back in hibernation in Exeter Street. Donnie Pfaster is still at large and on victim number 12." She sensed she was starting to get through to Mulder. "Duane Barry shot all his hostages and John Lee Roche made it up to 20 little girls before being caught... Need I go on?" "Okay, okay." He knew when he was beaten. "So I just click my heels together and say there's no place like home. "Wrong film, kid." She smiled. "Let's go." "Wait." Mulder stopped when he saw Scully heading towards them with Agent Pendrell. "I want to see what she's like." "No you don't." Angel took him by the elbow. "Yes, I do!" He manouvred free of her grip and followed Scully to the elevator. "These are the extra tests you wanted run." Scully took a folder from Pendrell. "Thanks Neil." She smiled. "I know you don't do labwork anymore, but the first time I had these tests done, they never came back to me." "She's a curious little thing, your Scully." Angel smiled. "The X- Files don't exist, but there's still some weird stuff going on and she's determined to get to the bottom of it." Mulder smiled too, remembering what Angel had said. Some things are destined. Maybe Scully was destined to uncover the conspiracy for alien colonisation. At least she was one of the good guys, not like his father. "Do the tests confirm your theory?" Pendrell asked "Looks like it. John Doe #103 had a synthetic enzyme in his body and I want to know why." Scully said closing the folder. "Once I give this report to Skinner, I'm sure he'll reconsider. "Dana..." Pendrell started. "Dana?" Mulder interrupted. "Since when were Scully and Pendrell on first name terms?" "They were partners for 3 years. You're the only one with an aversion to first names." Angel poked him in the arm. "Everyone calls her Dana." "I wouldn't say this to anyone but you." Pendrell continued. "But I think those test results were deliberately lost." "I had my suspicions too. That's why I asked you." Scully smiled. The elevator doors opened and she stepped out. "Seeya, Dana. Happy Christmas." "You too, Neil." She waved at him, the light catching on her left hand. "Is that a wedding ring?" Mulder asked. "Yup." Angel replied as they followed Scully to her office. "Her wedding ring?" "Yup!" Scully sat down at her desk and swithched on the computer. As she began typing her report, Mulder looked around her office. There was a gallery of photos framed beside the terminal. A wedding photo with her parents and two pictures of her holding babies. "Scu... Scully has children?" Mulder was starting to choke up. Every thing her career with him had denied her was abundant without him. A husband, a family, hell she even had a desk! "Dana Scully married Ethan Minette on March 1st, 1994. Their first child Nicholas William was born Christmas Day, 1994. Their daughter, Amy Grace was born July 12th, 1997." Angel explained. Mulder remembered the name. Scully had been seeing Ethan around the time she began work with him. It didn't last much longer. He looked at the baby pictures. Scully was radiant in all of them. Happy with her beautiful children. They looked just like her, especially Amy. Turning to Scully, he whispered in her ear. "I'm sorry. I never..." Her phone rang, interrupting him. Scully pressed a button to take the call on speaker phone soshe could conitnue typing the report. "Dana Scully." Mulder smiled as she used her full name. She wasn't "Scully" here. She was totally different. "Hi, Dana. It's Ethan." "Hi, what's up?" She asked. "You know well what's up." he wanted to sound annoyed, but wasn't carrying it off. "I was expecting you to ring the minute you left the doctor. Did she confirm it?" "The due date is early September." Scully beamed. "Did you hear that?" Ethan was talking to someone else. "You're going to be a big sister, Amy." "Hi, baby." Scully stopped typing. "Hi, Mommy." A sweet baby voice giggled . Mulder couldn't contain his emotions any longer. She didn't deserve what her association with him had done - what he had done to her. As he listened to her talk with her family, tears rolled down his cheeks. "You should have gone back when I told you." Angel hugged him, knowing the heartache he felt. "I thought if you saw how screwed up things were without you, you might feel better." "This isn't what I'd call screwed up." Mulder sniffed, welcoming the embrace. "This is a Rockwell painting." "But it's not the whole painting." Angel sighed, knowing nothing she would say now would change his mind. She'd have to let this run it's course. "Melissa rang earlier." Ethan continued. "She'll be over around 8.00." "I should be home by then." Scully smiled. "I'm nearly finished." "Mommy!" A young voice roared. "When's Santa coming?" "Same day as your birthday, Nicky." She laughed. "Cool." Scully heard his footsteps. "Nicky, no running in the house." Ethan called after him. "Hurry home, please. Your children are hyper!" "Why are they always my children when they get a little out of hand?" Scully laughed. "Because they get that from their Mother." Ethan said in a low suggestive tone. "I'll be home in an hour." "I can't wait." She hung up and continued the report unable to keep the smile from her face. "She doesn't deserve to have this taken from her." Mulder sighed. Scully looked happier than he had ever seen her. Why wouldn't she? Obviously very happily married and now with baby number three on the way. "I think I'd like to see them." "Who?" Angel asked. "The family? I don't think that would be a good idea." Scully had finished the report and left it in the post tray to be delivered up to AD Skinner. She had more important things to do than deliver it herself. Mulder followed quickly behind as she made her way to the parking lot. Angel watched as the file was collected, not by the post messenger, but by Alex Krycek who handed it to Bill Mulder. "Take care of it." "Oh kid, I'm glad you didn't see that bit." Angel sighed as she tried to catch up with Mulder. On her way home, with Mulder and Angel stowing away on the back seat, Scully stopped to pick up some groceries. "Time to go home." Angel said as they waited for her return. She got out of the car. "What's the rush? I thought we were going to meet the kids." He followed her out into the parking lot. "Look, here she comes." "Come on." Angel said reaching out to take his hand. A car revved in the darkness. "Just a few more minutes." Mulder said. The driver took off the handbrake. No. Now." She was more insistant. It raced towards Scully. "Mulder, now!" Scully looked towards her car. If he didn't know any better, Mulder would have sworn, she saw him. Before he could test his theory, the car, driven by Alex Krycek, ploughed into her sending her hurtling through the air. "Oh dear God, no." Mulder gasped as Scully landed in a crumpled heap. "You can't help her." Angel said as he raced to her. Scully's eyes were open, but lifeless. "Somebody call an ambulance!" He roared at the crowd who could neither see nor hear him. "She's gone." Angel said quietly. "Why?" Mulder asked, verging on hysterics. "Why did you show me?" "You started this!" Angel yelled back. "You wanted to know what life would be without you. This is life without you. Yes, you think your life may suck, but at least she's alive. Your friends are alive and well. For pity's sake, be happy with what you've got." "This is some goddamned fairy tale, Angel!" He ranted through his tears. "This isn't her fairy tale, it's yours." She snapped back. "This isn't real. What is real, is you lying on a couch with food poisoning and the Redhead in much the same condition. So thank your lucky stars that it's not real and go home!" Mulder's eyes snapped open. He was back in the apartment, on the couch. His heart racing, he glanced at his watch. It was just after 8.00am. Hesitantly, he picked up the phone and dialled Scully's number. "Hello?" she groaned. "It's me. I'm just calling to see if you're okay." "You've got to be kidding." she said. "I've never felt so bad in my life." " That's good." he sighed with relief. "Thank you." Scully replied sarcastically. "No, I didn't mean it like that." He explained. "I just had a really weird dream." "You too?" She asked. "When I did sleep, I had one really weird dream about you and Phoebe Green... and I've never even been to Oxford." "No, Scully." Mulder smiled. "That was a nightmare! Do you think you'll make it in today?" "I doubt it." She sighed. Angel watched by the window as she always did. Mulder and Scully argued over who was more unwell and who should visit the other in their time of need. Scully won. When Mulder hung up, he stared at the phone for a moment contemplating his bad dream. He dialled again. "Hi, Mom. I was wondering if you had any plans for Christmas?." "Don't worry about a thing, kid." Angel said. "Everything's fine. You just click your heels together and say there's no place like home? Oh, wrong film." **************************************************************************= *** Fade Out. Thanks for reading. Happy Holidays! Caroline O'Connell ginger@cyberia.ie