Clarity (1/2) by Caroline O'Connell ginger@cyberia.ie Classification : PG Story: H, Mulderangst. (strange combination, I know!) Set: Present time, Spoilers: None. Summary: Mulder meets his Guardian Angel... and it's nothing like he expected. Distribution: Anywhere, once writer's credit is retained (ie: My Name!) Disclaimer: Chris Carter does not know I exist. I am pond scum. I have nothing. I love everyone. (Will that do?) ********************************************************************** ************ Clarity by Caroline O'Connell "It's called Clarity." DEA Agent Paula Copeland said as Mulder and Scully looked over her notes and medical evidence. "It's new, I can't get it fully analysed... And it's the scariest thing I have ever seen." "I understand it has intense hallucenogenic properties" Scully said "That's why its called Clarity. Users say that everything becomes clear. All questions are answered. All knowledge is known." Copeland sighed. "The trip can last 2- 3 days" "Days?" Mulder asked, unable to hide his astonishment. "How do they get through it?" "With great difficulty, some of them. They can't handle it. Seeing things that aren't there, knowing things they couldn't possibly know." "Like what?" Scully asked. "One user was able to tell me word for word what I had written in a notebook whilst standing in the corridor outside his room" Copeland replied. "And I know what you're thinking, he looked over my shoulder, or something?" They nodded. "Nope. The guy was in full restraints and his door was shut. There was no way he could have known." "He couldn't have guessed?" Scully asked. "Predicted a diagnosis and repeated it." "It was a shopping list for a birthday party and a note to ring my optician." "What was his explanation?" Mulder asked, now realising why they had been asked to New York to help Agent Copeland. "His spirit guide told him." Copeland said trying not to laugh. The two agents couldn't help but smile. "Do you believe him?" Mulder asked. "I don't know." Copeland said. "I honestly don't know.... I'm trying to get a sample to get it properly analysed. It breaks down rapidly in the bloodstream leaving too many variables to guess as to the exact make up of it. I've used a contact to set up a buy from Tyler Branson, who we believe to be concocting it from a medical facility he worked in under a Dr Cora Lee. She was conducting experiments into schitzophrenia and a new drug to control it. And I need a new face to make the buy." She looked at Mulder. "I can do that." Mulder said. "Go score some Clarity! Then I want to talk to your friend with the spirits" Agent Copeland brought them to the place where Mulder would make the buy. He was wired up and on his way in. "Are you sure Branson will show?" Scully asked as they watched from across the street. "Branson's a greedy little kid." Copeland explained angrily. "He's not a big player, but he knows people are looking for a higher high and Clarity gives it to them. Once we get a pure sample, we can find out what's causing such an intense reaction... I mean, it makes PCP or E look like aspirin." Branson, along with his 2 large associates brought Mulder into a white tiled bathroom to make the deal. "You got the money?" Branson asked cockily. "You got Clarity?" Mulder asked mimicking the dealer. Branson opened his fist to reveal two small vials of a clear liquid. "Is that all?" "He's good!" Copeland laughed as she and Scully listened to the transaction. "How much do you want?" "Depends on how good it is." Mulder shrugged. "Do you have to drink it, or can you make it it tab form. Tabs are so much easier to distribute." " Drink's a purer hit, but we can do both. Do you want to sample her, man?" Branson offered Mulder one of the vials. "There's nothing like it... The things you'll see. I have seen angels, I argued with Elvis and...." He stopped mid-sentence and appeared to be listening to someone, but neither Mulder nor Branson's partners had said anything. "I know who you are, G-man!" Branson pulled a gun before Mulder could make a move for his. "Move in now!" Copeland yelled from the car to the back-up she had organised. "Who told you?" Mulder asked. "He did." Branson replied pointing over Mulder's shoulder. Mulder looked around, but there was no one else there. Branson slammed the gun across Mulder's face sending him sprawling to the ground. Before he could recover, Mulder was hauled to his feet and slammed into the wall by one of Branson's associates who then landed a heavy punch to the stomach.. Mulder dropped, gasping for breath, barely conscious. "If you're so interested in Clarity, try it." Branson emptied the contents of one of the vials down Mulder's throat. "You'll appreciate her much more." As they left him, Mulder managed to haul himself up to the sink with the intention of throwing up. The sickly sweet taste catching in his throat. But Clarity worked fast... He looked in the mirror, still trying to catch his breath. He could feel his heart start to race... he could hear his blood circulating ... he could feel it. Then every muscle in his body seemed to spasm, the pain coursing throug to every nerve ending in his body. Crying out in agony, he dropped to the floor. The pain intense enough for him to black out for a moment. Then the pain stopped... and he became aware of everything. Laid on his back, staring at the ceiling he watched the colours. They spun, making him feel like he was going through the spin cycle. Mulder stretched his arms out as if he was trying to keep his balance, unaware that he could fall no further if he tried. "Woah!" he said and then started laughing to himself. He could see the ceiling... he could see the paint... every miniscule crack in the paintwork revealing a wealth of information. Mulder watched in childlike fascination as a miriad of colours began to flow through the ceiling. He stretched up his hand to touch them. 'Incredible' he thought. 'Like Adam touching God on the roof of the Sistine Chapel'. Only it was Mulder touching God. He laughed again. This had to be the best thing ever! "So, you are real." Mulder said in amazement. "Can I ask you a question...can I ask you several questions?...." God decided he wasn't in the mood for conversation. "Okay... You don't feel like it... that's okay... My arms are tired." he let them drop to the floor. His head started to hurt as the spinning colours returned. Mulder squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the pain. But it just seemed to get worse spreading right to the hairs on his arms. He couldn't catch his breath. He couldn't move. Mulder lay there desperately trying to get up, but every effort failed him. Through the colours, he saw a face swim into focus... A woman's face he didn't recognise, but he had the feeling that he knew her... somehow. "Help me, please" he groaned, breathlessly. "Oh my God, you can see me!" she shreiked. It cut through his head like a spike. "No... no.... I'm not God." he corrected her. "He was here earlier, I was just talking to him. If you run, you might catch him." "You can see me." she knelt down beside him, almost whispering. Mulder wanted to tell her of course he could see her. He wanted to talk some more with her. Who was she? Where was she from? She wasn't Scully, because Scully didn't have an Irish accent. He didn't think it was Agent Copeland, and anyway, why wasn't he supposed to see her? Was she hiding from somebody? Too many questions racing around his head made it spin even more. She gently touched his burning forehead. "Everything's going to be okay." she said softly. "Trust me, I'll take care of you." He nodded as his eyes slid shut and the colours finished spinning and everything stopped. "Oh dear." Scully raced through the building. "Mulder!" She kept her gun drawn as she ran way ahead of Copeland and her backup. She ran into the bathroom to find Mulder unconscious on the floor. Sighing with relief when she found a pulse, her face dropped when she saw the empty vial, broken on the ground. "Get the paramedics!" The trip to the hospital was fraught, to say the least. Scully rode with Mulder in the back of the ambulance. On Agent Copeland's advice, Mulder was put in secure restraints. Scully was unconviced of the necessity, but decided not to protest. The sooner he got to hospital, the sooner they could help him. Mulder felt himself floating through the colours. It was calming and pleasant, but if he was going to fly, he may as well do it right... right? He tried to stretch out his arms to control the direction he was heading, but they refused to move. Scully watched as his eyes flickered open and he began to pull against the wrist restraints. "Mulder?" Wow! The colours were speaking now! But that still didn't explain why he couldn't lift his arms. He'd just spoken to God, surely he could do something as simple as fly! "Mulder, it's okay" Scully said helping the paramedic to ease him back into lying down. "We're nearly at the hospital." He could hear the voice, but all he saw was the darkness grabbing at him, holding him, paralysing him. Mulder panicked. Shouting, practically screaming at them to leave him alone. "Fox William Mulder!" It was that Irish woman again. He stopped when he heard her use his full name. "You have to stop. You have to go to sleep for a while." "Why?" Mulder asked as Scully and the paramedic stopped to see which one he was talking to. He seemed to be looking at the space between them. "Because you're high as a kite and acting crazy as a loon!" the woman said. Mulder continued looking between them, "Who are you?" "It's me, it's Scully." Scully said, assuming Mulder meant her. "I know who you are!" he sighed. "But who's she?" Mulder gestured to the space between them again. "She's the cat's mother." the woman said. "Now, please... just go to sleep, or they'll put you in a rubber room in a jacket with very long sleeves!" Exhausted from trying to free himself, Mulder relaxed back into the stretcher, trying to catch his breath. His pulse started to race again as the colours came back to play. He barely noticed as Scully slipped the oxygen mask over his face. The remainder of the trip to the psychiatric hospital was spent with Mulder staring blankly at the roof of the ambulance, marvelling at the fun he was having with the colours that seemed to have a life of their own. As the hours passed, Mulder remained oblivious everyone's attempts to talk to him. The doctor at the psychiatric ward where he had been brought, the strange woman who spoke to him in the ambulance, even Scully. None of them could compete with the colours. Mulder seemed to be having a very deep and involved philosophical arguement with somebody called Green, that abruptly ended following a heated exchange. "I wouldn't consider that a philosophy per se.....That's a bit personal!" Mulder said, still fixated on the ceiling. "What would you know anyway? You're a colour!" Scully and Copeland were both furiously taking notes until then. "He's arguing with a colour." Scully sighed. "It could be worse." Copeland said. "One patient could see air. Caused a complete catatonic episode. Mulder seems to accept it all as quite rational. Why shouldn't he be seeing and communicating with colours? Why not talk to God? From what I know of your work on the X-Files, this should hardly seem too abnormal." "I see your point." Scully said, still worried about the lasting effects it might have on him. "He doesn't seem to be afraid of it.... which will help him in the long run. Fear of things users don't understand cause them to breakdown, to become completely detached. Branson is more like Mulder. No fear of the unknown. Willing to accept what he sees as possible. So Branson, a frequent user of Clarity, enjoys the ride." They watched as Mulder drifted off to sleep. Scully wanted him removed from the restraints arguing that he wasn't a danger to anyone. The doctor supervising him refused. There was still a chance that Mulder could become psychotic. And under the influence of Clarity, he had the potential to do anything... but for the time being, all he was doing was sleeping soundly. There was no further reaction from him during the night. It had now been almost 24 hours since the attack. At Agent Copeland's insistance, Scully went back to the hotel for a few hours sleep. She updated AD Skinner about Mulder's situation and returned to the hospital in the early evening. "He's becoming more lucid as time goes by. I spoke with him about 2 hours ago. He's aware that he's in hospital, but not sure why and hasn't taken notice of his restraints. At this point, he's very tired." Dr Valencien briefed Scully on Mulder's condition. "We put him on a drip to keep him hydrated. He hasn't eaten, or taken any water since he was admitted. I hope he'll sleep through the night and tomorrow we can re-evaluate his condition. He should be aware of the reality of his situation by then." "And if he's not?" Scully asked, only too aware herself of Mulder's situation. "His condition is improving, Agent Scully." Dr Valencien said trying to sound encouraging. "But, if the evaluation is not successful, then we may have to consider a longer term of confinement." "Excuse me, Agent Scully." Agent Copeland said coming out of the hospital room and joining Scully and the doctor in the corridor. "He's looking for you. And he's not happy." "Mulder, calm down.... It's okay." Scully said quickly making her way up to him and in to his line of sight. "Scully, what's going on?" he sounded so scared. "What am I doing here? What are these for?" He fought hard against the restraints. "Please Mulder, don't do this to yourself." Scully said taking hold of his hand, hoping calm him a little. He held so tightly he was hurting her. "He's coming out of it." Dr Valencien said and ordered a sedative for Mulder. "No!" Mulder yelled as the nurse approached with a hypodermic syringe. "You keep that thing away from me! Stay away from me!" "Doctor, let me talk to him alone." Scully pleaded. Dr Valencien was reluctant to leave. "What's he going to do to me? Yell me into submission? Please... I know him. Let me talk to him." He agreed and left Scully alone with Mulder . "Scully, you have to get me out of here." Mulder pleaded. "Tell them I'm not crazy. Tell them anything, please, but don't let them near me." "Mulder... listen to me." she spoke quietly. "Nobody's going to do anything without my say so, okay?" He nodded, still trying in vain to slip out of the restraints. "Do you remember what happened?" He lay back, panting with exhaustion, trying to think how he had gotten there. How had he gone from landing in JFK to a secure wing of a psychiatric hospital? He couldn't think straight because of the throbbing across his forehead. He felt like his head would explode. "I don't know." he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I've seen and heard things... I don't know what's real and what's not. .. I don't even know if the two of you are real." "Two of us?" Scully looked around. There was nobody with them. "Are you seeing double, Mulder? Did you get a knock to the head?" "There's a woman over by the door. Don't you see her?" Scully shook her head indicating that she didn't. "You don't see her?... Oh God... I..." he stammered, realising what he was saying. "I can see her as plain as day..." "Mulder, you've been given a very strong hallucinogenic drug. You've spent the last 24 hours here." Scully decided to tell him everything. At least if he knew his psychosis was drug induced, he mightn't feel everything was hopeless for him. "We found you unconscious in the bathroom after you were drugged by Tyler Branson..." "Clarity." Mulder said. Something coming through the haze of jumbled thoughts and panic. He began to relax a little. "Yes, Clarity." Scully said ruefully. "You've been going through the classic symptoms. Hallucinations, mood swings, mania, paranoia...." "So what's new?" he said and laughed loudly. "High as a kite and crazy as a loon." he remembered what the woman said to him. "There's been one constant throughout your.... erm... trip." She couldn't think of a better word to describe what was happening to him. "You keep talking to a woman. She was with you in the ambulance, and now you say she's here. Do you know who she is?" "No. I've never seen her before." Mulder kept looking over at where she stood. "So who are you?" "I'm your Guardian Angel, stupid! Now stop talking to me or they will think you're nuts!" She said, sounding very annoyed. "She says she's an angel, Scully! And she speaks very, very quickly... and I think she's Irish!" he smiled at the implausibility of it all. "I've been agnostic since about the age of 14... and in one day, I've spoken to God and now I have a Guardian Angel! Hey, Scully, maybe I should convert!" "Maybe that sedative wouldn't be such a bad idea, Mulder." She stroked his forehead. He was burning up. "Scully!" he whined. "I hate needles. You know that... I hate needles, I hate fire, I hate looking at autopsies, I..." "You could get some sleep. Some real sleep and God and the Angels and the colours might leave you alone for a few hours." "I'm so tired." he sighed. "I can't think straight." He squeezed his eyes shut and nodded indicating that he'd let the doctor treat him. Scully beckoned Dr Valencien back into the room. With no protests, he gave Mulder the sedative who drifted quietly to sleep, keeping a loose grip on Scully's hand. "Is there going to be much more of this?" Scully asked, trying to retain her composure and just about succeeding. Dr Valencien shook his head. "It looks like Mr Mulder is through the worst of it." "So can we lose the damn restraints?" she snapped angrily, frustrated at not being able to help Mulder. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to be rude." Scully sighed and rubbed her eyes. "I know you're only looking out for his best interests." "It's okay." Dr Valencien smiled. "If I were you I'd be climbing the walls too. It's not easy to watch some you know go through this. And he's going through a lot. It's going to take him some time to come to terms with what happened to him. What was real and what wasn't... Having you here really helped him. Patients on Clarity don't trust themselves so it's not easy for them to trust anyone else." The doctor began undoing Mulder's wrists, gently placing them across his stomach. Moments after the final strap was untied, Mulder rolled onto his side and curled into a fetal position. Finally asleep... finally at peace. Watching Scully settle in to stay for a while, as the doctor left, Mulder's angel crossed the room , unseen, to his bedside. She kissed him gently on the forehead. "Goodnight, kid, sweet dreams." ********************************************************************** ******************** End of part one. Comments, platitudes, law suits to: ginger@cyberia.ie Caroline O'Connell Part II to follow! Clarity (2/2) by Caroline O'Connell ginger@cyberia.ie Disclaimers: See Chapter One. Summary: Mulder meets his Guardian Angel... and it's nothing like he expected! ********************************************************************** Clarity (2/2) by Caroline O'Connell Mulder inhaled deeply, waking up after a long sleep. Half aware, but with his eyes still closed, he scrunched his face up. The place smelt like... like a hospital. He gingerly opened his eyes, not sure as to what he'd see. "Good morning." "Hi." he replied, peeping over the bedclothes to see who was talking to him. "How do you feel today?" "Okay." Everything was a fog. He blinked rapidly to clear the sleep from his eyes and tried to sit up. "I wouldn't do that. You're still pretty out of it... Dr Demento gave you a booster shot during the night." "Angel?" Mulder asked leaning on his elbow, looking at her with one drowsy eye. "Afraid so." She sighed. "Are you still seeing me too?" "Afraid so." He said and lay back down, feeling the effects of the medication. "What time is it?" "Just after 6 am." Angel said sitting on the side of the bed. "The redhead's just gone for some coffee." "You look so real." Mulder said reaching up and gently stroking her cheek. "You feel like you're real." "I don't understand it. You're not supposed to see me... unless it's really drastic, and this isn't... really." "It's the drugs." Mulder said sleepily, as Angel gently held his hand in both of hers. "You're not scared are you." It wasn't so much a question as a statement of fact. He shook his head. "Do you know, sometimes it wouldn't be such a bad thing if your were a little more scared." "What?" "I could be George Clooney! I've spent so much time hanging around in hospitals over you!" Finally Angel had the opportunity to talk to her charge and she was going to tell him exactly what she thought! "Do you remember when you were young and you'd hear a little voice in your head going 'don't do that'... 'don't go there... 'don't eat that'?...Well that was me. And you were very good at listening to me..." She squeezed his hand gently to emphasise her point. "And then you lost the run of yourself.... You have my heart broken, Fox William Mulder. You don't listen to me anymore. You career headlong into any situation that presents itself and damn the consequences! It is pure dumb luck that you're still alive!" "But.." Mulder tried to explain himself. "Don't interrupt me! I'm not finished." Angel was on a roll now. "The next time you hear your little voice saying, nay, screaming at you to get the hell out of Dodge you do it, okay?" "Okay." he sighed, knowing he had no chance of winning this one. She still spoke way too fast for him to get a word in anyway! "I've looked after you for 36 years now. I'm sort of attached." She smiled at him. Even when she was giving him a dressing down, there was a kindness to her. "Can I ask you something?" Mulder said after a short silence. "Do you know what happened the night they took my sister?" "I can't tell you that." She sighed. "You do know." he sat upright "You know what happened to her." "I didn't say that!" Angel countered standing up and pacing beside his bed. "I just said I can't tell you." "Can't or Won't?" He followed her every move. "Don't get into semantics with me!" She wagged her finger at him. "I just want to know." he pleaded. "It's all I've ever wanted to know." "You don't think I don't know that?" Angel said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "That's what put you here in the first place!" "Great! We're back to that again." Mulder sighed "Yes, we're back to that again." She repeated. "Did you hear me? Did you hear one word I said?... Of course not! What was I thinking? Why would you start listening to me now? You haven't listened to me for over 20 years. Not since the rope swing incident." Mulder sat open mouthed. That was where he recognised her from! "You told me somebody was stealing my jacket!" "It was drastic action time!" Angel said "You were so intent on swinging across that river to impress Judy Whatshername, I had to do something! If you had swung across, the rope would have snapped. And you, dear boy, would have shuffled off this mortal coil way before your time!" "Oh." Mulder said, almost stunned into silence. "She wasn't your type anyway!" During the conversation, Scully had made her way back from finding a coffee machine that worked. She stoppped and watched through the small glass panel on the door. Her heart sank as she saw him converse with himself. Arguing with someone who wasn't there. All she could think was what Dr Valencien had said about an extended period of confinement. To some people, Fox Mulder was already crazy. This would serve to rubber stamp their theories. "Of course, if you had listened to me you'd be lecturing in Oxford right now with a wife and 3 kids" Angel said, weary of arguing with Mulder. "And I'd have died of boredom in 1993." he replied. "So I'd be dead anyway! So stop complaining!" "Don't you take that tone with me!" Angel stood, hands on hips. "Oh by the way, the redhead's watching. She thinks you're nuts too." She gestured to the door. "Maybe I am! Maybe I've completely lost the plot! Hey, Scully, Angel says you think I'm nuts" Mulder called over as Scully stood embarrassed at the other side of the door. She slipped in. "Hi Mulder." "Scully, Angel. Angel, Scully." He introduced Scully to an empty space. From Mulder's point of view, the two women were glaring at him. "Just being sociable." Flopping back against the pillows, he put his hand to his head and pressed his thumb and forefinger into his temples. "Still have a headache?" Scully asked. He nodded. "Still having hallucinations?" He nodded again. "Oh thanks very much!" Angel muttered. "That's all I am to you... Some Hallucination!" "Dr Valencien can give you something, I can get...." Scully started to leave. He took her hand. "Let's leave Dr Demento out of this." Mulder groaned, fixing himself into a seated position. Angel laughed. Scully didn't. "Mulder this is serious." "Scully, I can't help what I see!" He sighed. "And if I see a woman in a long dress with an Irish accent, then that's what I see. What did Copeland say? A 2-3 day high? I must still be high, right? There's no other way I could be seeing what I'm seeing." "Long dress, and an Irish accent." Scully tried to stifle a smile. "Sounds like my Grandmother." Mulder looked over where Angel stood and glared at her. "What?" Scully asked. "I'm not repeating that!" Mulder muttered. "For a Guardian Angel, Mulder, she doesn't sound very angelic." Scully smiled. "So what do you think she is, Scully?" She raised her eyebrows in that 'it doesn't matter what I say, you'll ignore my theory anyway' look. "I think it's a very vivid hallucination brought on by Clarity. That's all." "What about what Copeland said?" Mulder said, trying not to get annoyed, as the headache pounded across his forehead. "She said others had seen spirit guides. Branson said he had spoken with angels. Maybe Clarity opens a part of the mind that allows us to see that." "Confront our spirituality?" Scully asked. "Mulder, you just defeated your own argument. this hallucination, however vivid it might be, is there because of what Agent Copeland and Tyler branson told you. Your mind is open to suggestion. You're seeing things that arent there, so you rationalise that its your Guardian Angel." "You of all people know what it's like to see things that aren't there, Scully" he countered, referring to a couple of years ago when Scully thought she saw Mulder plotting with the Cigarette Smoking Man against her. "Besides, I think I would have imagined someone a little more traditional than what I see now." "Blonde hair, big wings?" Scully asked. "Mulder, you hardly have a traditional religious belief system yourself." "Which is why I would be more willing to accept my Guardian angel as just that and not a figment of my imagination.." Mulder explained, exasperated at her arguement. "I think I would have been a little more imaginative and she'd be a little less annoying!" "What? You expected some kind of Spirit Guide?" Angel laughed derisively. "Your spirit guide appeared to you when you were 6 and a half. It was a slug. You stomped on it. You have insect issues, Fox Mulder!" By now, his head was as bad as ever. Hearing conversations in stereo didn't help. He lay back down and closed his eyes. "Get some sleep, Mulder." Scully sighed. "Get this stuff out of your system." Feeling as bad as he did, Mulder fell asleep quite easily. Scully stayed for a while, waiting until she was sure he'd stay asleep. Dr Valencien appeared at the door. She went out to mee him... Angel followed. "I thought I told you to go home." He smiled. "How's Agent Mulder?" "He's good." Scully said. "We talked for a few minutes... "You go, girl!" Angel said, sarcastically. "Spill your guts!" "...And he seems fine." "The visions have stopped?" The doctor asked. "Well, he's not arging with colours anymore, if that's what you mean." She smiled. "Well, well, well. Red!" Angel exclaimed. "That's a great big fib! Or what was it he said once? A willful participation in a campaign of misinformation! You're just full of surprises." She left the doctors to their conversation and went back to Mulder. "You're right about the redhead, kid." She whispered in his ear. "She's definitely one of the good guys." Mulder slept for the rest of the morning, waking briefly for blood tests. By lunchtime, when Scully had returned, he was eating for the first time in 2 days. "You'll be happy to know Tyler Branson has been arrested and charged with possession with intent to supply." Scully said handing Mulder a stack of newspapers and his overnight bag. "How do you feel now." "Much better, thanks. The shrinks will be around for a little chat soon!" Scully's phone went. She spoke briefly with Agent Copeland. "I need to go back to the DEA. Branson wants to make a deal." She sighed, really wanting to stay with him. "So no more visions of strange women?" She asked, leaving the room. Mulder smiled. "Scully, the only strange woman I'm seeing is you." "Liar!" Angel whispered in his ear. "Jesus! Will you just leave me alone!" Mulder said through gritted teeth and opened up one of the newspapers. "Nothing would please me more!" She exclaimed. "But it's that bloody drug!" He continued reading his paper. "Ah, ignoring me, now! That's constructive." "What do you expect? I'm due for a psychiatric assessment soon, I get caught talking to you I end up in a funny farm for the rest of my life!" he snapped angrily. "And explain why that would be a bad thing." He dropped the paper and glared at her. "Careful! You wouldn't want people thinking you're crazy would you?" She looked at him for a moment, her tone softening. "Do you think I want to see you stuck in here? Dr Demento's little lab rat? I don't trust him." Mulder couldn't help but smile at her. They shared a similar sense of humour. "You think you inherited that from your Dad?" "Now you're reading my mind!" He threw his hands up. "Well duh! That's usually how it works!" She ruffled his hair. "And I know you hate that too! Tell you what. I'll head off to look at your records while you put square pegs in round holes and look at ink blots... I wonder which one will be more interesting?" And off she went. Mulder sighed with relief. If Dr Demento came in... and he'd first have to remember not to call him Dr Demento to his face... at least Angel wouldn't distract him. As he sat on the bed reading his paper, a nurse came in to check on him. "Would it be okay if I took a shower? I'd like to get freshened up before the doctors come in." "I don't see any problem" she smiled and left him to it. He felt so grimy after the last couple of days. Lying in restraints and working up a head of steam didn't help matters. All the built up tensions melted away once he was standing under a stream of warm water. Soap bubbles sliding down his back as he ran his fingers through his hair and scrubbed it clean.. Mulder closed his eyes and let the water sprinkle gently on his face. The headache that had nagged at him since waking up didn't seem so bad... He felt almost normal. "Don't forget to wash behind your ears!" Startled, he turned around and tried to protect his modesty. "Angel! Get out!!" "Calm down! It's nothing I haven't seen before!" she laughed as he grabbed a towel to cover himself. "Oh, and nice arse!" "What about Dr Valencien?" Mulder muttered, ignoring her comment and slipping into his robe. "Let's just say, the good doctor has a nice sideline in research with Dr Cora Lee." Angel explained. "Now tell the Redhead and let's get you out of here!" "And how do you suggest we do that?" Mulder asked, checking to see if the coast was clear in his room. He didn't want to be caught talking to himself again. "Guess what, Scully. My guardian angel says Dr Demento is using me for research!" "Good point, Batman!" Mulder changed into the clean clothes Scully had brought for him and waited for his assessment. Dr Valencien came in alone which set off alarm bells in Mulder's mind. "How do you feel, Mr Mulder?" the Doctor asked, pulling up a chair beside his bed. "Fine, I guess." Mulder shrugged. And he did. The headache was gone, the heavy feeling in his muscles. He felt great, aside from the persistent apparition of Angel. "Good. I'm just going to ask you a few questions, and then I'll need to take some blood." "More blood?" Mulder asked. More blood meant more needles, and he hated needles. "I'm afraid so. We need to be sure the drug has left your system." Outside, Scully was trying to gain access to Mulder. Security wouldn't even allow her on to the ward. Agent Copeland flashed her ID. "I'm with the DEA. Agent Mulder was brought in on the understanding that I have complete and unrestricted access to him." "I'm only carrying out orders, ma'am." The security guard said, refusing to release the electronic door. "Get Dr Valencien down here now." Scully said, impatiently. Tyler Branson had implicated Dr Valencien in his statement, but Scully wanted to talk to the Doctor herself before making accusations. "I can't do that, ma'am" the Security guard replied. "I'll tell you what I can do." Copeland snapped, angrily. "I can have you arrested, right now, for obstruction of justice" A look of panic passed across the guard's face. "So I strongly suggest you co-operated." The guard finally did as he was asked. "Thank you!" "I felt completely aware of the presence, yes." Mulder said. "She was very real. I talked to her, she talked to me... But I know why I saw her, and thought she was my guardian angel." "Why is that?" Dr Valencien asked, taking notes as Mulder spoke. "Agent Copeland told me that one of the other patients had seen spirits." he explained Scully's theory, as if it were his own. "And you now don't believe that you saw your guardian angel" "No..." Mulder said categorically. Angel held back any comment she wanted to make. And she wanted to make a lot! But the last thing Mulder needed right now was her distracting him in any way. He needed to convince the doctor that he was okay. "... All I can say is I'm glad I wasn't watching the Disney Channel, or who knows what I might have seen." Dr Valencien smiled. "Thank you, Mr Mulder. I'll file my evaluation after I take blood." "Will I be discharged soon?" Mulder asked hopefully. "I believe so." Dr Valencien said, wrapping the tourniquet around Mulder's arm to bring up the vein. Mulder looked away. He knew Valencien was up to something, but the idea of seeing the needle draw blood was making him feel light headed and nauseous. After all Mulder had been through in his life, the sight of injections still freaked him out. He felt the needle prick him, and held his breath. "That's not a blood test-tube!" Angel yelled. "There's something in that syringe!" "Mulder looked back and grabbed Valencien's arm, preventing him from pressing the plunger any further. "What are you doing?" Mulder could feel himself weaken, whatever the doctor had given him, but continued to struggle. "Security!" Dr Valencien yelled, as he removed the syringe from Mulder's arm. "If you don't stop, I'll have you in restraints for the rest of your life!" The orderlies ran in and quickly overpowered Mulder, pinning him to the bed to enable the doctor to finish his task. "Dr Valencien, put down the syringe." It was Scully and Copeland, with their guns drawn. "This patient is having a relapse. He became violent and I am attempting to calm him down." Valencien lied. "Doctor, step away from Agent Mulder, now." Scully's slow, even delivery convinced the orderlies that they meant business. They released their grip on Mulder and Dr Valencien backed away. Copeland took the syringe from him. "What's in this? Clarity? A sedative?" The doctor said nothing. "Whatever it is, there's enough in here to fry his brain!" Scully raced to Mulder as Copeland arrested the doctor. "Are you okay?" she asked grabbing some gauze to stem the small flow of blood from Mulder's arm. "Yeah." he said trying to regulate his breathing. "I'm fine." Mulder glanced around the room. The orderlies were leaving, Copeland had taken Dr Valencien out. There was just the two of them. "Are you looking for her?" Scully asked. Mulder raised his eyebrows and smiled. "Is she here?" He shook his head. "As I said, Scully, the only strange woman here is you!" "I'm still here, kid." Angel whispered, unnoticed. She reached out and almost ruffled his hair, but stopped just shy of it. "I'll always be here." Fade out! ********************************************************************** And through it, all she offers me protection, a little love and affection. Whether I'm right or wrong. And down the water falls, wherever life may take me, I know that life won't break me. When I come to call, she won't forsake me. I'm loving Angels instead. "Angels" - Robbie Williams. ********************************************************************** All done, bye bye! Thanks for reading. Comments, chocolate to: ginger@cyberia.ie Caroline O'Connell