Author's Name: Nialani Story Title: Zombies Rating: NC-17 Spoiler Warning: Pinkus and FTF Disclaimer: I'm with Chris when he says "FOX sux!". Other than that I reap no profit from his masterpiece by writing this. Summary: Night of the Living Dead meets the X-files Notes: Happy (belated) Halloween. Oh BTW go see House on Haunted Hill, it rocked! ___________________________________ 12 1\2 miles outside of Reno, Nevada Mulder and Scully were hot. Not just uncomfortably hot. They were 'five minutes from ripping their clothes off and running around butt naked hot.' Which would probably land them with a whole lot of reprimands and a nice long stay at a mental hospital, but neither of them at that particular moment would have gave a damn. "Jesus Scully," Mulder panted and wiped his brow. "I thought Dallas was hot as hell. This is insane." "You wanted to come here." She sighed, annoyed. It was hot and sticky and Mulder was working on her last nerves. For the umpteenth time that day she had taken her hair out of her sloppy ponytail, aired it out, and placed it back in. "I'm mean really... Zombies, Mulder?" They walked into the county hospital and she groaned. It was hot and the body had been found this morning. So it had to be really ripe. And she had to do the autopsy. she thought. "Look," he began placing his hand tentatively on her shoulder, "people have been disappearing from this town for several days, now, a local girl was attacked by someone she said was decomposing, and there are several dead bodies missing from the local cemetery. Zombies, Scully. I couldn't resist. Besides, you owe me. Last time I told you about zombies there were zombies. And a big man size roach masquerading as a human was responsible. " she thought. "It could just be some kids playing a practical joke on the girl." "Then why did the police find her with a decomposing human eyeball?" he said. They walked into an elevator. When they arrived on their floor the smell Scully had been dreading was already permeating through the walls. She placed her hand over her mouth as Mulder placed his nose underneath the collar of his shirt. "Damn," he muttered. "Shut up," she growled at him. "I mean at least *you* don't have to cut him open." "Sorry, Scully," he said, but he could help the chuckle that escaped his lips. Her face was flushed and her hair was damp and starting to curl. She looked like hell, but she was still beautiful, and even more so now that she was angry. He couldn't help but think how she would look in the throes of passion. "You think this is funny?" she asked outraged. Mulder stood tall and sexy as always, with half of his face submerged under the neck of his T-shirt. All she could concentrate on was those big green eyes she secretly loved so much. "Well, since you think this is sooo funny G-man," she said poking him in the chest, "Guess whose going to be my assistant for the day?" His eyes went wide in horror and she smirked. she gloated inwardly. "I can't, Scully." Mulder could deal with the aftermath of the autopsy, but to stand there with her and pass her tools why she hacked a corpse in pieces? Well, let's just say he was more than green around the gills from the thought. "Why not?" she challenged. "I ...I ..., um. Well, I um." he stuttered "What? We already talked to the authorities and your victim is still in school now," she said in her, "I'm not having it today, Mulder, so cut the bullshit", voice. He hung his head in defeat, "Okay, okay. I deserve it. I'll help you." Like I had any choice in the matter, he thought. "Good, go wash your hands and put these on," she said handing him scrubs. He looked at the scrubs and then at her. "You don't want any...juices on your jeans now, do you?" He turned green and she chided herself inwardly for being that evil. Mulder left the room and did what she said. He came back into the lab and found her and the very stinky, very dead zombies already making acquaintances. He watched her for a moment as she stretched, her arms over her head and her fingers laced together, her chest out, her breast protruding. She let out an unladylike groan and then she looked at him looking at her and she blushed. "A picture would last you longer," she joked and gestured for him to stand at the table with the instruments. He smiled and picked up the small saw. "You are a dangerous woman, Scully." He laughed turning on the saw for a second and then turning it off. "You don't know the half of it," she said a little more huskily then she'd like to admit. She couldn't help but think how sexy he looked in those green scrubs. The way his body molded to the polyester when he walked. she scolded herself. she chanted to herself "Scalpel," she said still not gaining control of her voice which was low and shaky. Mulder fumbled around the table and finally handed her the scalpel. She made the 'Y' incision and Mulder swayed a bit at the blood the came through the skin. After a few minutes Scully got a little worried. Mulder swaying motion was more frequent as the autopsy continued. "Are you okay?" she said stopping her examination and looking at him. He was sheet white and sweating buckets. "Sure," he said, shakily, trying to force the smile, "I think the cutting is worse than the clamping and the probing." That was the last thing he said before he hit the ground. _______________________ 3:00PM Reno, Nevada Best Western When Mulder came to, he was lying in his hotel bed fully clothed with only his shoes and socks off. He couldn't remember anything at first. Then it all started coming back: Autopsy...Juicy corpse...cutting. He started to get nauseous and he sat up. "Welcome back." Dana chuckled, standing at the foot of the bed. "Boy, I never seen an intern hit the floor that fast. " She walked over to his side. "You should have seen your face Mulder, you were five shades of green." he thought. "So what did you find?" "That your zombie has in fact been dead longer than a week." Which meant that he was dead while attacking the girl. "Oh this is good. Do you have any sweats?" he asked so casually that she almost missed it. "What? Sweats?" she whispered giving him one of her famous looks "Yes, um, I think brought a pair. Why?" "Cause we're going to the cemetery tonight," he said a little too cheerfully as Scully rolled her eyes. "Why tonight? What's supposed to happen?" "Well the zombies are going to rise of course." He smirked. _______________________________________ 10:00pm The cemetery Well, dinner went ... well it went. Scully complained about going zombie hunting. Fox complained about juicy autopsies. Which in all killed his appetite. He ended up picking over his food and watching her eat. Now they were at the local cemetery sitting in their blue Honda Civic rental. Waiting for zombies. Scully thought. "Mulder," Scully groaned "We've been here for two hours. We looked at the graves, let's go!" "What are you scared a zombie is going to come out and eat your brains? His eyes would be too big for his stomach." He joked. She smiled at that then hit him with a balled up piece of paper. "No, I'm tired. I want to go to sleep...in a bed," she said closing her eyes. "Are you coming on to me?" "Bite me," she muttered. "Maybe later." He smiled. An hour passed. And an unusually thick fog settled around them. Mulder looked at his partner. She was fast asleep, snoring very loudly. Mulder grabbed his flashlight and got out of the car. He walked through the cemetery pointing the flashlight towards the ground to watch out for open graves. Meanwhile Scully rolled on to her side and slept some more. Suddenly, a gun shot rang out. Scully bolted up. She looked too her left and right. There was no Mulder. Then she looked through the wind shield. She couldn't see a thing. "Mulder! Mulder!" she called nothing then a large shadow appeared. Her eyes went wide when she realized what it was and she covered her face as she saw the figure of her partner coming straight towards the car window. "Scullleeee!" Mulder yelled as he was tossed through the window shield. "Shoot them in the head, Scully!" he mumbled before he passed out. Scully got out of the car with her gun drawn. She couldn't see her own gun in front of her let alone a zombie. How was she going to shoot them in the head? All she could see around her was dense white fog. Suddenly a tall thickly built figure crash towards her she screamed and fired twice. The figure dropped at her feet. "Help us!" it said, it's voice was tortured and low. Scully backed away, slowly. Suddenly, a small hand hit grabbed her wrist. She turned around and a small dead child screamed. "HELP US!!!!!" Scully fell on the ground, on to the cold wet grass and mud. Walking dead bodies of all ages and races surrounded her. "How?" she cried out in fear. "Stop him. Stop the mortician." One man who obviously had a closed casket funeral said. "Who?" Scully said, squeezing her eyes shut. This was fucking unbelievable. "Kelvin Niles!" they all moaned. Suddenly something sharp hit her temple and she was out cold. ___________________________________________ 8:00am The cemetery "Miss. Miss wake up!" a tall police man said shaking Scully into consciousness. "Huh? Where?" she groaned when she tried to move. Her head was pounding. "You and your husband was attacked," he said helping her up. "It looks like you two were robbed or sumthin'. Your husband is on his way to the hospital." She went into her jacket pocket a pulled out her badge. "I'm FBI Special Agent Dana Scully, that man is not my husband he's my partner. Agent Fox Mulder. We were here last night investigating the Simpson girl attack that happened two nights ago." "You were chasing zombies?" he laughed and she scowled at him. "We were investigating a case," she said, "Can you take me to my partner please? Wait. Do you know where Kelvin Niles works." "Sure." ______________________________ 10:31am The Hospital "Well, your partner was pretty banged up but he'll be okay after a few days." the doctor said looking at his chart. "Can I see him?" Scully asked. "Sure." Scully walked into the room and was greeted with one his famous "I told you so" grins. "Stop it." She ordered and he put on his FBI game face. He knew after last night that she was in no mood for his gloating. "Zombies Scully. Fucking 'Night of the Living Dead' out there last night." He said like a kid on Christmas morning. "Yeah, but it's not from paranormal sources," she said carelessly dropping a file on his lap. He picked it up and opened it. "Dr. Kelvin Niles. He was a scientist. A pathologist. Worked for a medical research facility in Pakistan. He retired and opened up a morgue, he became an undertaker." He read. "He was trying to find the cure for death at the Medical Research Facility after his daughter and wife was killed in a bus bombing, Mulder. He found it. A gene formula. Unfortunately the subjects he was testing were from this town's cemetery. They didn't want to come back." She shuddered as she remembered their tortured faces. "They want us to stop him." "Get me some clothes and we're outta here," he said simply getting ready to pulled the IV out of his arm. "Wait, Mulder. You need your rest," she said touch is chest gently. "I'm fine," he said and she scowled at him for his choice of words. "No, Mulder. I can do this without you. Rest. Please." She pleaded. He sighed, "Okay." He couldn't disobey her. Not when she was being so sweet and caring. Besides his back was killing him. She squeezed his hand gently and left. _________________________________ Noon The Last Dance, Funeral Home. Dana Scully entered The Last Dance Funeral Home, she kept her hand on her gun as she searched through each of the rooms. This man was dangerous and obviously not all there. She Finished looking through all the main level room and decided to go down stair were the preparation rooms were at. That's where he was doing his dirty work. Promising the townsfolk that he was going to give their love ones a nice burial and service, meanwhile he was giving them some form of reanimation serum. Ripping them away from their final peace back into their cold damp graves. She couldn't get the sight of the little girl crying help us. All she could think of was Emily after that. She walked down the wooden steps into the dark basement. "Mr. Niles?" she called. A dark shadowy figure passed in front of her and she drew her gun. " Come out with your hands up!" she yelled. The figure came out of the shadows and she gasped. "Mr. Niles?" "Yes," he said. He was decomposing. His eye was barely in it's socket. His ear was hanging by just a little piece of skin and blood. His hair was falling out. He was missing an arm. He was dead. "How? Why?" she whispered in shock. "I saw how it was when my wife and child died and I was afraid of dying myself. Isn't that enough," he said coming towards her. She backed away. " When I reanimated my first corpse I was ecstatic. I just had to try with the others. But you see the others got to me. They tried to kill me, but I fixed them didn't I?" he laughed his jaw almost falling out of joint. "How do you fix it?" she said her voice shaky with anger. "It'll fix it's self. My formula was highly unstable. In another day or two the dead will be dead ... again," he said sitting down his bones crack and popping. "And yourself?" Scully asked, her was stomach doing flip flops. "I'll keep ticking until I fall apart," he said injecting himself with more formula. "You'll keep doing your experiments?" "Yes. They don't mind." He hunched his shoulders and almost lost one. "Yes, they do." Scully said positioning her gun towards his lab equipment. He won't be able to go out in public like he was, so there was no possible way he could go out and purchase more lab equipment. "Nooo!" he screamed as she fired her gun the bullets cascading glass lab equipment everywhere. "And as for your formula--" she fired her gun at his last bit test tube full of formula. Green liquid splashed all over. "You killed me!" he screamed running towards her. She aimed her gun and fired. "You killed yourself." She shot him in the head and he fell lifeless to the ground. ________________________________________________ Epilogue Mulder and Scully sat in the office of Assistant Director Walter Skinner. He looked at her reports and then his agents. Mulder sat straight in his chair because of the back brace he was wearing. Scully sat with her legs crossed and her hands on her lap. Both of them wore blank expressions on their faces. "What the hell is this?" he yelled. "Zombies?" "Zombies, Sir," Scully said and Mulder couldn't help but grin. "Kevin Niles was one himself." Mulder said, " It's all there, Sir. How he was a zombie and how he was turning his clientele into zombies." "I see that Agent Mulder, thank you," he yelled wiping the smug grin off of Mulder face. "How am I going to explain this to the Board?" Walter Skinner said more to himself than his agents. "Well, you can start by renting Night of the Living Dead." Scully said and there was silence in the room and then they all began to laugh.