Title - Life Sucks, Bite Me(The Author Has No Patience for Titles 
Right Now)
Author - Aris "TGD" Merquoni
E-Mail - aris@sandwich.net
Rating - PG
Category - XA
Spoilers - None. I don't know enough about the series to do that.
Keywords - Alternate Universe
Summary - Mulder and Scully investigate a murder that Mulder 
thinks might have something to do with vampires. He's right. As 
usual.
Archive - Heh, if you want to, go ahead.

Life Sucks, Bite Me
or
The Author Has No Patience for Titles Right Now

X-FilesandallrelatedcharactersbelongtoChrisCarterandTenThirteenPr
oductionsallrightsreservednotmine!

... I still have trouble believing I'm writing X-Files fanfic. 
It's not that I can't detail the reasons that I wrote this story: 
I have them all down here in that little notepad I call my mind.

Anyway. "Freak High", Michelle, Jim, Gerome, Krieger, Shreck, 
Celice, and other assorted characters belong to me and me alone. 
They are not yours. They are not public domain. They are my 
copyleft, and I intend to keep them that way.

This story should probably have more explaination than it's 
getting, but I'm not giving any more. The reason it might feel 
offbalanced and quirky is... well, it is! I wrote this for one 
main reason, got halfway through, and wrote two sequels before I 
realized it. Therefore, this story needed to be finished. This 
story is set in the same universe as a piece of original fiction 
that I'm not sure of the status of(besides technically finished), 
so it is possibly never going to get posted on my website. You 
heard me, never! Never ever ever ever... uh... yeah.

Speaking of websites, mine's at 
http://shadowtouched.sandwich.net/. Check there for other stories 
and ... yeah, stuff. Also, I'd be *really happy* to hear from you 
all out there. Yes, even you. The e-mail is aris@sandwich.net.

-- BEGIN --

Darkness. The dew on the grass stuck to the man's legs as he ran 
across the silent courtyard. Ignoring his surroundings, he ran, 
eyes wide with terror, careening across the open space.

As he reached the wide, inviting door at the other side of the 
courtyard, the black shadow following him finally caught up.

The man screamed, eyes rolling back in his head. His arms were 
pulled behind his back roughly, and his head jerked to one side, 
baring his neck to the shadows.

"No..." he whimpered, as the shadowy form bent over him.

A minute later he slumped to the ground, deathly white in the 
darkness. The other figure straightened up and scowled down at 
him.

Another flicker of movement, this time in the hallway. A startled 
query. "M... Mr. Shreck?"

The first figure turned his scowl on the other. "Who's there?" he 
barked.

Slowly, a girl came into the dim light of the courtyard. The 
taller man sighed. "Celice Richards, is it not?"

"Y... yes, sir," Celice said quietly.

"Very well." Mr. Shreck looked down at the corpse at his feet. 
"Help me dispose of him. And Celice..." the girl looked up, eyes 
wide in fear. "This doesn't get out, do you hear me?"

"Yes, sir," she said, before bending to pick up the dead man's 
feet.

--

Federal Agent Dana Scully opened the door to the basement office 
only to be blinded. Throwing up a hand to block out the sudden 
harsh light, she blinked sunspots out of her eyes. "Scully!" her 
partner said jovially. "Look what I just got."

The light disappeared and she lowered her hand to see Mulder 
proudly displaying a black credit-card sized object with a white 
semicircle colored on one end. "Lovely," she said with as much 
enthusiasm as she could muster, which was somewhere around 
negative twenty kilojoules. "What is it?"

"Full-spectrum light," he said, turning it on again, but 
thankfully pointing it at the wall. "Look at that beam! Isn't 
technology great?"

"Wonderful," she said, her voice dripping sarcasm. "Anything new 
today?"

He tossed the light onto his desk and picked up a file folder. 
"Actually, yes. Murder in a little place called Sylvandon in the 
middle of California. Wouldn't have come to my attention except 
for the lack of a body."

"So it might not have been a murder," Scully said reasonably.

"Wrong," Mulder said with a grin, holding up his index finger. 
"There *was* a body. The officer at the scene identified him as a 
local civil engineer. As she called him in, something happened, 
and with nobody else at the scene, the body disappeared."

"Dissapeared?" she asked when he tried to create a dramatic 
pause.

"Well, that's what the official report says," Mulder replied with 
a twinkle in his eye. "But according to her statements, the body 
had crumbled into dust. And it *happened,*" another dramatic 
pause, "Right at sunrise."

Scully put the pieces together just as Mulder wanted her to, then 
rolled her eyes. "Mulder," she said disparagingly, "You are not 
going to tell me you think..."

"Vampires," he said, before she could say it.

"And let me guess, you've already got plane tickets."

"Yep." He grinned again and stood. "Pack a couple stakes, 
partner. We're going trans-continental to Sylvania."

--

"Jim!" Michelle pelted down the hall as she spotted him leaning 
by the drinks machine. He looked up, then glerked in shock as she 
reached up and kissed him.

"Yuck, 'Shell!" he said as she released him, and wiped his mouth 
with the back of his hand. "You taste like werewolf."

She grinned at him, too happy to care. "The braces are off!"

"Oh, hey!" Jim's demeanor suddenly changed, and he hugged her 
again. "Congrats! This mean you can do all that wolfy stuff now?"

"Yeah, all that wolfy stuff. Like rending vampire flesh, so don't 
get on my nerves." They shared a grin.

"Say!" Jim said after a moment. "Any idea why the principal's 
calling an emergency homeroom today?"

Michelle blinked. "He is?"

Jim shrugged. "Yeah. I got here early - they've been announcing 
it every five minutes or so."

"All students will please report to their home room class instead 
of their first period class this morning. Thank you," said the 
secretary's voice over the loudspeaker.

"Oh." Michelle looked around. "You seen Louis? Maybe he knows."

"No, I havn't seen our favorite local defreakifier," Jim said, 
only a little bitterly. "I think he's off with Theresa in a 
corner somewhere."

Michelle shrugged. "Maybe it's about classes for next year. 
Speaking of which..."

Jim got a wicked glitter in his eye. "I dare you."

"Jim, I'm a were. How would it look for me to take vampire 
physiology?"

"Well," Jim said, the glitter not fading, "I'll make you a deal. 
I have an opening next year. I'll take werewolf phys-"

"I don't believe you."

"If you'll take vampire. And I'm sure between us, we can convince 
Louis to take *one* of them." Jim stopped at a drink machine and 
fed in a dollar. "And," he continued as he hit the AB- button, 
"It'll do all of us good. I mean, I *know* how I work."

"I don't," commented a nearby vampire as he watched Jim pick up 
the bottle. "How can you drink that crap?"

Jim looked up at him and grinned. "Your blood type's O, isn't it, 
Thomas?"

Thomas rolled his eyes and fed a five dollar bill into the 
machine. "Yeah, yeah. And these things are way overpriced. 
Extortion, that's what it is."

Jim chuckled and clapped him on the shoulder as the bell rang. 
"C'mon, 'Shell," he said. "We're gonna be late."

"Don't call me 'Shell," Michelle said. "And it's not like we have 
that far to go."

"No, not at all, just the entire way across campus. Stop dragging 
your  feet!"

"I'm just wondering why the maintenance guys just started putting 
big metal plates on the fronts of the drink machines, that's 
all."

Jim stopped and swiveled around, frowning at the two burly 
werewolves who were affixing a cover onto the steel 'cage' that 
surrounded the drink machine. "Hunh," he said thoughtfully. "Must 
be a protest against blood bank draning or something."

"Maybe it has something to do with whatever they want to tell us 
in homeroom," Michelle said.

"For the last time, please report to your homeroom instead of 
your first period class," the speaker announced. "This is an 
important school-wide announcement. Please report to homeroom. 
Thank you."

"Come *on,*" Jim said, grabbing Michelle's arm. They made it into 
room fifty-two just as the bell rang. Mr. Gerome looked up at 
them, and gave them a tolerant nod as they took their seats.

"I'm going to call roll now," he said, "and if anyone is missing, 
I would appreciate it greatly if one of their compatriots would 
let me know their location. Cabot, Lindsey?"

"Here," said a mousy vampire girl at the back. Michelle tuned out 
the roll of names until her own name was called, then sank back 
into thought. Why mess with the drinks machines?

Finally, Mr. Gerome cleared his throat. "Since we are all 
assembled, I'll begin. I suppose none of you have any idea what 
has happened recently."

Everyone shook their heads. Gerome nodded, then said, "I suppose 
it's good that everything was kept under wraps. However, it is 
necessary to tell you some of the facts. Last week, a murder was 
committed quite close to our campus."

Gerome waited for the gasps of shock to quiet down, then 
continued, "We don't know who the perpetrator was, but the victim 
was a vampire- or at least was turned into one. We are, at this 
time, conducting our own investigation into events, and I'm sure 
you will be notified when everything is taken care of."

"Goddess..." Michelle whispered in an undertone. Louis, two 
chairs away, was looking slightly sick.

"However, that is not the end of it. The victim was found by a 
police officer from a nearby town, off duty. As she was calling 
for backup, the sun rose." Gerome paused. "I don't need to tell 
any of you what happens when sunlight hits a vampire corpse. The 
officer was debriefed, and we hoped the whole situation would 
blow over.

"That was not to be the case. Apparently, the story of the 
vanishing body made its way to the FBI. As the site was close to 
this campus, it is quite probable that the FBI agents will want 
to invesitgate the school, and perhaps interview some students at 
random."

Quiet pandemonium, building to a dull roar. Mr. Gerome stood up 
and called attention before it got that far. "There is no need to 
panic. Answer as truthfully as you need to. I don't need to tell 
you what not to mention."

"What about the Normals?" someone said. "They don't need to 
worry. What's to stop-"

"We'll have none of that here," Gerome said sharply. "The normals 
have just as much to fear as we do. This is our community. 
Dissection by the government is not an option."

Everyone settled back into shocked silence. Gerome sighed and 
settled his bulk into his chair again. "Now, then. A few common 
sense rules. Don't even mention the words vampire or werewolf. 
Don't try to get into the drink machines - they're being sealed 
off until we know if we need to cart them away. And don't speak 
to the FBI agents unless they speak to you."

"When will they be here?" Jim asked.

"We don't know. It could be as early as tonight."

More pandemonium. This time Gerome didn't even attempt to quiet 
the class and let the noise die out on its own. "The best thing 
you can do," he said when there was a semblance of order, "is to 
act normally. Don't panic."

"Panic," Jim muttered. Michelle nodded a couple times.

Gerome looked up at the clock. "All right. You are excused to 
roam the halls. First period will start in... seven minutes, so 
be on time."

The students rose in small clusters, still looking stunned. Jim, 
Michelle, and Louis exchanged worried glances, then stood and 
left.

--

Mulder squinted into the pale light surrounding the school. "So 
this is it?"

"Yeah, looks like it," Scully said. "Freemont Nocturnal High 
School. Experimenting in getting teenagers up at a reasonable 
hour."

"And you still think I'm wrong?" Mulder asked, grinning.

Scully rolled her eyes. "Just because there's one school in the 
country on a wacky experimental schedule doesn't mean that it's 
filled with vampires. I mean, this is California."

"Central Valley, California," Mulder corrected her. "One of the 
biggest hotbeds of right-wing thinkers in the country, I'll have 
you know."

"How would you know?"

"Ex-girlfriend. Come on."

Scully shook her head as they started toward the main offices. 
"Fine. That doesn't mean that they can't come up with an 
experimental idea once in a while. I know I would have killed to 
go to school at night when I was in high school."

"Yeah, but high school students aren't voters. The people here 
must have had a real good reason to change the school hours."

The door opened, and a pale man in a conservative suit stepped 
out to meet them. "Agents?" he asked.

Mulder nodded. "I'm Special Agent Mulder, and this is my partner, 
Special Agent Scully."

"I'm Vice Principal Shreck," the man said, holding out a hand. 
"We spoke on the phone."

As Scully shook Shreck's hand, Mulder said, "I was wondering, Mr. 
Shreck... what nationality is that name?"

"Polish, actually. You were hoping for Transylvanian?" At 
Mulder's nonplussed expression, he chuckled. "We get the vampire 
jokes a lot around here. But I think our attendance numbers speak 
for themselves." He stepped back and gestured at the door. "Would 
you care to come into my office?"

"Actually, we'd like to take a look around the school," Mulder 
said. "Would that be all right?"

Mr. Shreck frowned. "Well, it is still school hours. If you would 
like to look around campus, you can wait for a couple hours..."

"Now would be good," Mulder said.

Shreck nodded. "In that case, I'll find someone to give you a 
tour." He gestured them inside the building, then looked up and 
down the hallway until he spied a student. "Miss Richards?"

The girl looked up, startled, then her eyes widened as she caught 
sight of the agents. "Yes, Mr. Shreck?"

"You have this period off, don't you?"

"Well... I'm a TA for Friedman." She shifted nervously from one 
foot to the other. "What..."

"I'd like you to meet FBI agents Mulder and Scully," Shreck said, 
indicating them. "They're here to look around the school. Could 
you take some time to give them a tour?"

The girl blinked a couple times, looked absolutely shocked and 
scared out of her wits for a few seconds, then shrugged. "Sure, I 
guess."

Shreck nodded. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do. 
I'll be in my office. Miss Richards knows where that is."

"Call me Celice," the girl said as she stepped forward. Scully 
gave her a dubious once-over. The girl had gone all-out to cover 
the goth look. Black shiny pants, cutoff navy t-shirt with black 
fishnet sleeves sticking out from underneath, and lots and lots 
of silver. Scully noticed at least three studs and a hoop in each 
ear, some of them in places that didn't look too sanitary.

She also had a giant silver cross hanging off a chain on her 
neck, which Scully found amusing and discomforting at the same 
time.

"So, um, yeah," Celice said after a moment. "This is like the 
front hallway, and these are some of the math classrooms... back 
this way is the cafeteria, and that way's the library... let's go 
there."

"Fine with me," Mulder said amiably as they started walking. "How 
do you like the school hours?"

Celice shrugged. "It's cool. I wouldn't know like any different."

"How are the teachers?" Scully asked.

"Oh, fine. Some of 'em are real... I mean, hey, what can you 
expect?" the girl laughed nervously. "I don't like get along with 
all my teachers, but they're good, you know?"

"Sure," Scully said.

"What kind of classes are you taking?" Mulder said, glancing up 
and down the hallway.

"Umm... you know. Math, English, Gaelic, science, philosophy, and 
I'm Mr. Friedman's TA, of course." Celice shrugged, looking even 
more uncomfortable, if that was possible.

"Okay, okay, I'll stop with the inquisition. Just one more 
question, though?" Mulder pointed at a steel cage that had a 
metal panel screwed onto the front. "What are the covers for on 
the drink machines?"

"Uhhh..." Celice blinked, stammered, then swallowed and said, 
"Well, they didn't tell us, like, you know? I mean, well... um... 
here's the library."

Mulder gave the doors a cursory glance. "Nice."

"Yeah. Um..." The sound of an electronically generated 'bell' 
echoed off the hallway, cutting Celice off. "Er, we're right by 
the class where I TA... I can like pick up my stuff and then like 
drop you off to talk with Mr. Shreck if you don't mind okay?"

Mulder nodded and waved her away. Celice nodded, then ducked 
around a couple stuents emerging from room 53 and dissapeared 
inside.

Scully turned to her partner and gave him a look. "All right. 
What are you looking for?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, exactly. I'm going on a hunch."

"You're antagonizing that poor girl on a hunch?"

He smiled. "Not deliberately. But she's on edge about something."

"Mulder, she has a couple of FBI agents poking around her high 
school. 'On edge' is the best I'd describe her thoughts as at the 
moment."

"Tell you what. If I'm wrong, I'll buy you dinner."

"Bite me."

--

Michelle poked her head out of Gerome's class, then drew back and 
bumped into Jim. "Who's that?" she said, nodding at the hallway.

Jim leaned around her and squinted. "I think they're the FBI 
agents. I mean, look. Suits?"

"Yeah." She waited as a couple students passed them, sending 
curious glances at the Suits in the hallway. "Uh, Jim? Why are 
you breathing hard on the back of my neck?"

"Are you kidding me?" he said. "They said there'd be FBI agents, 
but they never mentioned they'd be *hot!*"

Michelle frowned and looked the guy up and down. "Jim, he must be 
over thirty. And he's not *that* cute."

"You're kidding me. Look at that ass."

"Right. I have to get to class."

"Hey, look, Celice is talking with them! Think she could 
introduce me?"

"Jim... JIM!" Michelle stared in openmouthed shock as her friend 
sauntered over to Celice and tapped her on the shoulder. She got 
her jaw closed in time to hurry to his side.

"Celice! Hi! Who are your friends?" he said. Celice turned around 
and stared at him as if he was insane, a view that Michelle could 
sympathize with at the moment. The FBI agents broke off their 
murmured conversation and turned to look them over.

Celice's expression when from murderous to shocked and back in 
the space of a breath. "Jim, leave. Now."

"Who's this?" the male FBI agent asked. Now that she'd had a good 
look at him, Michelle could see the attraction. Sort of. But not 
Jim's temporary frontal lobotomy of insane lust.

"Look, you freak, leave *now*," Celice was saying, her voice 
getting a little more strident every syllable.

"What, 'freak'?" the agent said, and Michelle could smell his 
interest levels shoot from zero to sixty in 0.3 seconds.

Jim actually tilted his head back and gave the agent a 
flirtatious glance, thought Michelle could see it passed him like 
water off a duck's back. His partner noticed, however, and had to 
hide a chuckle under her hand. "Well, sure, I'm a little odd," 
Jim said. "I'm James Campbell. Everyone calls me Jim."

"I'm Agent Mulder," he replied, "and this is my partner, Agent 
Scully. Seen anything weird around?"

"Plenty," Jim agreed too readily.

"You crazy *faggot*," Celice hissed. "Go *away!*"

"Hey, isn't there a federal law against homosexual prejudice?" 
Jim snapped.

Agent Mulder blinked a couple times as that sank in. "Uh..."

"Just hate crimes, I think," Agent Scully said.

"Yeah, so let's get *out* of here before she *commits* one," 
Michelle said, yanking on Jim's arm. "Let's *go.*"

Jim finally turned to follow her, though not without one final 
smile at Agent Mulder, who was looking slightly pale himself. 
"Dear Goddess," Michelle said sharply, "For a moment there I 
actually thought you'd ask him around back to show him your 
fangs."

"Think he'd go for it?" Jim said mildly.

"JIM!"

"Okay, okay, *that* was a joke. I mean that. But... hey, haven't 
you ever been swept off your feet before?"

"No. And I intend to keep it that way." The bell echoed off the 
hallway, and Michelle started. "Shit! I'm late for Gaelic!"

"Later," Jim said as she ran off.

--

Mulder shook his head as they walked out of Shreck's office an 
hour later. "There are too many things here that don't add up."

Scully rolled her eyes. "I think you're just still weirded out 
from that kid hitting on you and unwilling to admit that you owe 
me dinner."

"There's something important here. I just don't know what it is."

Scully smiled indugently. "Fine. Take a couple moments to look 
for it while I search the ladies' room for incriminating 
fingerprints."

Mulder smirked and waved her off. Scully turned down the hall, 
heading into the first restroom she saw.

The smell wasn't any worse than she remembered from her high 
school, and the room was actually clean. She paused to look 
around, and was startled by a click as one of the stalls opened. 
Glancing to her right down the row, she was surprised to see 
Celice Richards step out.

The girl looked like she'd been through six kinds of hell in the 
last hour. Her pupils were dialated oddly, and there was much 
more red in her eyes than was normal. Between that and the hunch 
in her shoulders, she looked like she'd managed to get higher 
than the roof and run over by a bulldozer at the same time. "Are 
you okay?" Scully asked.

Celice blinked and seemed to see her for the first time. "Oh. 
Agent Scully... I..." She trailed off and shook her head. "I 
just..."

"What?" Scully asked, as something caught her eye. Behind and to 
the right of Celice's head, a couple mirrors were hung on the 
wall. The reflection seemed to just miss Celice, but... Frowning, 
she stepped back and forth, but no matter how she tried, she 
couldn't see Celice's reflection.

And as Celice caught her eyes and whimpered, she remembered an 
old superstition that vampires didn't cast reflections.

And as Celice opened her mouth to reveal a pair of sharp fangs 
and lunged, she fleetingly concluded that a vampire wearing a 
huge silver cross probably wouldn't be intimidated by the small 
crucifix around her own neck.

--

Michelle came out of her Gaelic classroom ten minutes after the 
bell rang, annoyed and tired. Heading to the front of the school 
and towards her locker, she passed by Jim, who was leafing 
through a printout and leaning on one of the closed-off drink 
machines. She stopped and watched him, attempted to decipher the 
goofy-yet-smug grin on his face, and finally gave up. "What  are 
you doing?"

Jim looked up and beckoned her closer. "I finished my CS project, 
so I took the extra time to hack into the Pentagon."

"You WHAT? From school computers? How? Why?" Michelle said, 
finally cutting herslf off before screaming. "I didn't even know 
you knew how to hack," she lamented.

"Well... okay, okay, but you know that computer-based magicks 
course I took last summer?"

Michelle stared at him, then started banging her head against the 
drink machine. "You. Are. Joking."

"No, I'm not. I printed out Agent Mulder's file."

Michelle stopped abusing her forehead long enough to make some 
whimpering noises. Jim held up the hard copy by her nose. "His 
first name's Fox. Isn't that just *perfect?*"

"Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggg," Michelle said. "Look. Do me a favor. If 
I ever get like this over a guy, beat me about the head and 
shoulders."

"Fine," Jim said. "But don't think I'm obsessed. I'll be over him 
tomorrow. Hey! There he is!"

Michelle looked up, then grabbed Jim by the arm and hauled him in 
the opposite direction. "Hey!" he yelped, pulling out of her 
grasp. "Where are you going?"

She pointed across the hallway. "To my locker. And you're coming 
with me."

He frowned. "If you really wanted me away from him, you'd drag me 
to the library or something."

"He already smells paranoid. If we started running from him, 
he'll think we're up to something." She paused. "Besides, I'm 
wondering if he knows anything."

"'Smells paranoid'?" Jim asked as she opened her locker. "You're 
getting good at that."

"Yeah," Michelle said in an undertone. "It's amazing how much you 
learn  when-"

"Hey," Agent Mulder said from behind them. They whirled around, 
frozen, eyes wide. Mulder blinked, winced as her recognized them, 
then said, "Is there any way to open the drink machines?"

"Uhhhh..." they said in unison. Michelle recovered her 
equilibrium first. "I don't think so."

The agent nodded, then turned to the machine and pulled out a 
pocketknife. It wasn't until he'd unscrewed the first industrial-
strength screw that they realized what he was doing.

"Hey, you can't do that!" Jim said.

Mulder turned to raise an eyebrow at him, and Jim was fully 
floored for the duration. "Why not?"

"Uhhhhhhh..."

"They covered those up for a reason," Michelle tried.

"And why's that?" he asked, going after the second bolt.

"Uh... they didn't tell us. But it's important."

Agent Mulder snorted. "They didn't tell me, either. And I'm 
getting just a little curious. And I'm an FBI agent investigating 
a crime, so I'm allowed to do this."

"Abuse of power?" Michelle murmured, but very quietly.

"Yeah. Abuse me," Jim murmured back. Michelle shot him a 
disbelieving look, then kicked him in the shin.

"Scully, there you are. Give me a hand with this," Mulder said. 
Michelle looked up, then looked past him to see his partner 
heading towards them. A familiar scent caught her nose, and she 
froze.

Agent Mulder looked up when his partner didn't respond to his 
query. "...Scully?" he said, finally getting a good look at her.

"Down!" Michelle called, as Agent Scully bared her fangs and 
lunged. Jim pulled the stunned Agent Mulder to the ground, and 
Michelle took the opportunity to spring. Everything seemed to 
blur.

--

Everything was blurry for Scully. Things seemed to come into her 
field of vision in shades of red. Her legs weren't working quite 
right, and everything just seemed wrong.

She stumbled out of the bathroom, still not sure what had 
happened. She only knew that she needed to find Mulder. She 
needed to find Mulder... she was so hungry... he owed her dinner, 
didn't he? ... Something was wrong. Everything was wrong. There 
was an empty, clawing, angry need that was welling up inside her, 
and she needed... wrong... what was wrong?

"Scully, there you are," someone said. Mulder said. It was 
Mulder, so she... everything... right... she had to concentrate. 
She'd missed most of what he was saying. He was fiddling with the 
drink machine, and there were those kids they'd been talking to 
earlier standing by him, lookng apprehensive. He looked up from 
whatever he was doing, and saw her. The expression on his face 
changed, and he looked... concerned. Worried. "Scully?"

And that's when something in the back of her mind took over, and 
everything went red. She didn't know anything after that until 
she woke up a moment later on the floor, a sharp pain in the back 
of her head and a... dog sitting on top of her.

"Shit," someone said. That kid. Jim, right. "Come on, Michelle. 
Let her sit up."

The dog raised its head, looked down at her, then stood and 
walked off of her. Scully groaned and sat up, and someone knelt 
down to help her to lean against the wall. She looked around and 
saw Mulder getting off the floor, a shocked and slightly 
frightened expression on his face.

The kid beside her- Jim, that *was* right- nodded to Mulder. "Can 
you get the rest of those screws out? Like, now?"

Mulder nodded a couple times, then picked up something by his 
knees and started working on the front of the machine. Someone 
sighed beside her, and Scully turned her head to see that the dog 
was gone, and in its place the girl she'd seen earlier. 
"Gleoman," the girl muttered. "Gleoman cu, cu-gleoman, baka, 
baka, baka!"

Scully swallowed and tried to answer, but everything was going 
red and she felt the universe dropping out from under her. Jim 
noticed this, and cursed again. "Michelle! Could you-"

Everything went red again. The next thing Scully knew, she was 
retching as an absolutely *nauseating* taste flooded her mouth. 
"Ghaaa..."

"Shit!" The girl- Michelle- said. "That *hurt!*"

"Well, she bit you. Didn't you expect it?"

"I didn't expect her to clamp on like *that.* You people get 
nasty when you're hungry."

"Remind me to quote you on that the next time you complain about 
my eating habits. Do you have that panel off?"

"One more screw. Is she..."

"She'll be fine."

Scully swallowed, then wiped her mouth. It came away with streaks 
of blood on it, and she stared as if the hand didn't belong to 
her. "What..."

Jim was next to her again with a hand on her shoulder. "Just calm 
down, okay? Who bit you?"

She stared at him, confused. "What?"

He frowned, thinking. "Okay... what's the last thing you 
remember?"

"I... I was..." She shook her head. Thinking hurt. "I'm so... 
hungry..."

Where did that come from? But it was true. Even with that 
nauseating taste in her mouth, she wanted something to eat.

"Yeah, hold on..." He moved away, and there was a sound of 
something large and mettalic being moved. Voices, one of them 
asking for ten dollars. Finally, someone pushed a bottle under 
her nose. "Drink this."

Whatever it was, it smelled good. She grabbed the bottle away and 
drank. The liquid poured down her throat like cool ambrosia, 
making the void inside simply cease to exist. Her tense muscles 
relaxed, her breathing eased, and the troubles of the day seemed 
to vaporize like bubbles on the river.

After ten or twenty swallows, the bottle was empty. Someone 
passed her another, and she opened it and took a couple sips. 
When she felt fortified, she opened her eyes again to see a trio 
of people staring at her.

"I'll have to recommend this," she said after an uncomfortable 
pause. "What is it?"

Jim shrugged. "O negative."

"Oh," she said, then, "What?"

Mulder swallowed harshly. "Scully, you're drinking blood."

She stared at the plastic bottle in her hand. It was standard 20 
ounces, but with a blank white label. It was slightly cold in her 
hand, and the liquid inside was thick and dark red. "That's 
impossible," she said. "Blood... doesn't... It doesn't taste 
*good,*" she blurted.

"Sure it does," Jim said amicably. "That's a five-dollar bottle 
right there. Figured since I didn't know your blood type, that 
was the best shot."

Scully stared back down at the bottle in her hand. Then she 
lifted it back to her lips and drank. Ignoring Mulder's wince, 
she put the empty bottle down by the first. "What happened?"

"That's what we were trying to get at," Jim said. "What do you 
remember?"

She closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall. "I... I 
went into the restroom, and I saw Celice Richards, and ... 
something happened. I don't know, I can't quite remember that 
part."

"Celice?" Michelle said, shocked. "I knew she was a manhunting 
Idian goth-chick *leech*, but I didn't think she was *stupid.*"

"She looked bad," Scully said. "Really bad."

"Hold on," Michelle said, getting to her feet and heading down 
the hall. Scully closed her eyes again and groaned.

Mulder sat down next to her, then hesitantly put his arm around 
her shoulders. "You okay?" he asked.

"Not really," she said. "I guess I owe *you* dinner now, huh?"

"As long as you don't take it out of my hide."

She sighed and leaned against him. "Remind me to believe you next 
time." Looking up, she saw Jim leaning against the drink machine, 
obviously straining to ignore them. "Don't worry, tiger," she 
said, "I'm not his main squeeze or anything."

He shot her a grin, and this time she noticed his fangs. "Please, 
don't encourage him," Michelle said from the other direction.

Jim looked up. "Did you find Celice?"

Michelle nodded. "Yeah. In worse shape than our friend here... 
what *is* your blood type, anyway, Agent Scully?"

Scully shrugged. "B positive."

"Eeeeesh," Michelle said. "No wonder both of you were screwed up. 
Celice is A."

Jim hissed. "OOooh, that's bad."

"What's bad?" Mulder asked as Michelle went over to the machine 
and fed in a couple dollars.

"Think blood transfusions," Jim said. "If you're A, you can take 
A or O. If you're B, you can take B or O. If you're AB, you can 
take anything. Now think of a vampire who's A attempting to 
digest blood that's type B..."

"Is that why I had that bad taste in my mouth?" Scully asked.

Michelle looked up. "No, that's 'cause I shoved my arm in your 
mouth before you went ballistic again. You bite *hard.*"

"I don't get it," Scully said as Michelle poked one of the 
buttons. "Are you type A?"

"No, she's a werewolf," Jim said. Michelle rolled her eyes at him 
and pulled a bottle out of the machine. "What are you doing?"

"Getting Celice something to drink," Michelle snapped, then 
turned and walked away again. Jim shrugged and leaned against the 
machine again.

"Werewolf?" Scully asked after a couple seconds.

Jim pointed down the hall after Michelle. "There wolf."

"Shut UP, Jim!"

"There are *werewolves* at this school?"

"Yeah," Jim said, nodding. "Most of the football team, most of 
the cheerleaders. It's pretty segregated."

Mulder chuckled. "Vampires *and* werewolves."

"Yeah, score two for one, huh?" Jim grinned again, wider.

Mulder glared at him. "Scoring doesn't come into the picture."

"Hey, I'm resigned to that."

"I didn't mean- Errrgh. Will you cut that out?"

"Okay, okay." Jim held up his hands. "I'll stay good."

"One hell of a mess we made," Michelle said, coming back again. 
"We're supposed to keep the whole vamp-were thing *away* from you 
guys. Now look."

That's when everything hit Scully at once. "Oh, God," she said 
quietly. "I'm a vampire."

"Scully..."

"I'm a GODDAMN VAMPIRE!"

"Hey, calm down," Michelle said. "It's not that bad, really. Come 
on, we should get you two out of here before they send the 
authorities after  Celice."

"Yeah," Jim agreed, standing up straighter. "Besides, it's 
getting close to dawn and you need a place to sleep."

"My God, Mulder, we can't go back to our hotel," Scully said. "We 
can't go back... I can't go back to my apartment. I won't be able 
to go in for work. I can't ever go to church again. They 
excommunicate vampires, don't they?  I-"

"Calm down, calm down," Jim said. "Look, there's an extra place 
in my basement. We can get you down there and you can stay the 
night."

"Jim, you're incorrigible," Michelle said disgustedly.

"What, you want they should stay at *your* place instead?"

Michelle opened her mouth to say something, paused, then closed 
it. "You know, you may be right. Your 'rents are open to this 
sort of catastrophe happening."

"Do we get a choice in this?" Mulder asked sarcastically.

The teens paused, traded a glance, and shrugged. "Sure," Michelle 
said. "You can go explain to Mr. Shreck what happened. Then you 
can watch as Agent Scully gets indoctrinated into the local 
circle of vampires - since she's an adult, I mean - and then help 
while they punish Celice for screwing up. And then if you're 
*lucky* you can walk back to your old job with no memory of what 
happened here."

Jim stared at her in openmouthed shock. "Where did you pick up 
all that?"

Michelle shrugged again. "Well, partly from you, partly from my 
parents. What, you think we don't spy on you people?"

Scully traded a slightly bewildered glance with Mulder, then got 
to her feet.

Five minutes later they'd left the school behind and were driving 
to Jim's house. "I don't get it," Mulder said. "All the evidence 
points to elaborate rituals being necessary to turn someone into 
a vampire. How'd Celice manage it in under a minute?"

"It's... not like that," Michelle said. "Not really. All the 
books out there are a joke."

"Yeah. And if you'd just *take* Vampire Phys, 'Shell, you'd be 
able to answer that question."

"Bite me."

"Yuck. No thanks."

"Um, if I could get an answer, here..."

"Sure. Turn left at the next stop sign. Well, vampires *can* 
drink someone's blood without turning them into a vampire. I 
mean, that's normal. But hey, these fangs aren't just for 
display, they're also a connection to the blood system. What 
happens when you get bite fever like Celice is a little blood 
flow goes both ways, so the victim gets turned into a vampire, 
too. If you don't think about it." He shrugged. "Doesn't really 
make a difference now, anyway, since everyone *civilized* drinks 
the bottled stuff."

"So *what* happened to me?" Scully said, a little dazed and 
confused.

Michelle smirked. "Vampire backwash, that's what."

"Hey!"

"It's *true.* Celice sure picked the wrong day to go bonkers."

"I'll say... this house on the right."

Mulder pulled the car up to the curb and parked it. Jim climbed 
out and headed to the front door, followed closely by Michelle 
and the two agents. Jim opened the door, shoved the key back into 
his pocket, and called, "Mom? Dad? Company."

A young woman with short brown hair met them as they stepped into 
the foyer. "Well, about time, son of mine. Hello, Michelle." She 
cast a gaze over the agents, a quizzical look on her face.

"Mom, these are FBI agents Mulder and Scully," Jim said. "Scully 
got... er..."

"I noticed, hon." Jim's mother held out a hand. "I'm Jennifer 
Campbell. Come on in, both of you. I'll assume you need a place 
to stay?" Within moments, Scully was pulled into a warm, friendly 
kitchen, and a warm cup of something that smelled heavenly was 
pressed into her hands. "Michelle, you know where the other 
drinks are, can you get Agent Mulder something?"

"Sure," Michelle said, opening a refridgerator. "Water or 
Snapple?"

"What kind?"

"Uh... Lemon iced tea. 's diet."

"That sounds great."

Mrs. Campbell had by then taken another seat at the table. "Now. 
I suppose you're very confused?"

Scully nodded a few times, then took a drink. It tasted as good 
as it smelled, and she tried very hard not to imagine the 
composition of what she'd just swallowed. "Yeah. I mean, this 
afternoon, everything was normal, and... this just..."

"I know what you mean," Jennifer said sympathetically. "Your body 
gets over it in a couple days, but it can take *centuries* for 
the mental readjustment to kick in."

Scully stared at her. "... centuries?"

"So vampires really are immortal," Mulder said, looking up from 
his iced tea.

Mrs. Campbell shrugged. "Well, as you define immortal, I guess. 
We do age. Just very slowly."

"Centuries?" Scully whispered again.

"Woah, hey, it's not like *you're* going to be a vampire for 
centuries," Jim said. "I mean, hey, we could get Louis to meet up 
with you tomorrow-"

"Goddess, Jim, you want to give her a heart attack? Do you 
*remember* what that did to Alice?" Michelle said sharply.

Jim looked guilty. "Okay, right, in a few days. Then you won't be 
a vampire again and everyone'll be happy, right?"

Scully stared at them. "I'm sorry. What did you just say?"

Jennifer smiled tolerantly at the teenagers. "Oh, one of their 
friends has some sort of ability to turn people back into 
normals. There was a big fuss over it a few weeks ago."

"Back... into..." Scully took a deep breath, then another draught 
of whatever she was drinking. "I thought nothing could cure 
vampirism but..."

"Divine intervention or death," Michelle said. "Yeah. That's what 
we thought, too."

"Louis is... erm... an anomaly," Jim said.

"Well. It's not Daylight Savings time *yet*, and it's very close 
to dawn. Agent Scully, we have an extra spot in the basement that 
you can use... probably the best." Jennifer smiled and patted 
Scully on the hand. "I know it took me about a month to get used 
to sleeping in a coffin, but if you're down there you can take as 
much time as you need to get settled."

Scully froze up again. "Coff..."

"Trust me, it's better than trying to crash on a bed," Jim said, 
gesturing for her to follow. Scully nervously stood, then allowed 
herself to be herded toward the basement. Mulder stepped up 
beside her, and just his presence comforted her enough to let her 
breathe in some sort of normal pattern.

She nearly started hyperventilating again when they reached the 
basement. It looked like a den of the occult, with chalk patterns 
and black candles everywhere. Jennifer Campbell looked at her son 
and sighed. "James, have you been working down here again?"

Jim's eyes went wide. "Me?"

"Thought you'd given up on love potions," Michelle said acidly.

Jim kicked her in the shins. "I was working on conjuring fire. 
Science project."

"Well, how about you two clean up the candles and the chalk while 
I show Agent Scully around?" Jennifer said briskly. As the 
teenagers grumbled and went to work, she took Scully by the elbow 
and led her to a corner of the room.

Scully's eyes focused on a black laquered box that she'd assumed 
to be a table or crate of some sort. On closer examination, it 
was a coffin, decorated on top with inlay pattern of bright red 
flowers. "Japanese," Mrs. Campbell said proudly. "Got it second 
hand from a Gaki who was traveling through. Very comfortable, I 
can assure you, once you get over the initial shock." She opened 
the lid, showing off an interior lined in white satin. The 
Japanese character for Four was emblazoned in red on the 
underside of the lid.

"It's... nice," she said fuzzily. "It's a nice... coffin. I'm... 
sleeping... in a coffin."

"Take as long as you like to get settled," Jennifer said in a 
voice that was trying to be comforting. "No sunlight can hit you 
down here, so you don't have to lie down right away. Jim and I 
need to go, though."

"Yeah," Jim agreed, straightening up from where he was shelving a 
couple leather-bound books. "Sorry 'bout the mess. I'll get the 
rest of it  tomorrow."

"Make yourselves comfortable. Michelle knows where everything is. 
Good morning!" Jennifer said, then followed her son up the 
basement stairs.

Scully listened to the door close, then looked back down at the 
coffin. "Oh... my... God," she whispered.

"Like she said," Michelle said, making them jump, "You can stay 
up as long as you want. I recommend getting *some* sleep, 
though."

Hesitantly, Scully turned to face her. "What do you mean?"

The girl shrugged. "Well, you *can* stay up all day. Jim did it a 
couple times. He just looked like hell combed over the night 
after, and felt  worse."

Scully could feel herself shaking. "My God... Mulder, I can't do 
this."

Mulder put his hand on her shoulder, then turned to Michelle. 
"Can you go get me another iced tea?"

Michelle looked from him to Scully and back. "Sure thing. You 
want me to run around the block a couple times first?"

"That'd be great, thanks," Mulder said, smirking.

The teen nodded, threw a mock-salute and mounted the stairs. 
Scully turned back to her partner, who wrapped his arms around 
her without a word. She sighed and let him hold her. Right now, 
she needed to be held. And it felt so good to relax into his 
arms.

"Are you going to be okay?" he murmured into her ear. His breath 
tickled the hairs on the back of her neck, and she settled her 
head onto his shoulder.

"I... I don't know. This... I mean, this morning I was still 
convinced that vampires don't exist. This afternoon. Just an hour 
ago. And now?" She sighed. "Now I'm standing here having to 
seriously consider sleeping in a coffin for my health."

"It'll be okay. All right? Take a couple deep breaths, you'll 
feel better."

She nodded, then followed his suggestion. It was funny... From 
where she was, she could smell his cologne, but also something 
that her hindbrain knew was *him*, not any artificial sweetners 
getting in the way. She sighed contentedly as she wrapped her 
arms around his neck and pulled closer.

"... Scully?" Mulder asked, his voice sounding odd for some 
reason. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," she murmured into his neck. His hair was soft under 
her fingers.

"Scully, you're scaring me..."

"Why?" she said, chuckling softly. "I'm not gonna bite..."

"Uh, Scully..."

"Unless you want me to..."

"Scully! Snap out of it!" He pulled his hands back to push her 
away, and she took the opportunity to offbalance him and land him 
on the ground. She snuggled into his prone form, and something 
probably would have happened if Michelle hadn't chosen that 
moment to rap a staccatto beat on the basement door.

"Yeah!" Mulder said, taking the opportunity to scramble to his 
feet. Scully stayed sitting on the floor, but managed to pull 
herself into a slightly more dignified position. ... What had 
come over her?

Michelle walked halfway down the flight then stopped, surveying 
the room. "I would have run around again, except I remembered 
that nobody remembered to tell you guys that vampire libido is 
about three times human norm."

Scully groaned and hid her face in her hands. "Oh, God. I'm 
undead *and* cursed with being perpetually turned on. I'm going 
to kill myself."

"And I thought I had problems with sexual frustration," Mulder 
said.

Scully looked up and glared at him. "Make one more comment like 
that and I'm wiping your video stash."

He looked indignant. "Those aren't mine!"

"Good. Then you won't miss them when they meet Mr. Bulk Eraser."

"Uh... point made." He grimaced, then held out a hand. She 
accepted his help and got to her feet. "Sorry."

"I hate to mention this, but it's already light outside," 
Michelle said. "You're probably going to want to get to sleep 
soon if you don't want to wake up feeling like a chew toy for the 
entire boys basketball team."

Scully glanced involuntarily at the coffin and shuddered. 
"Okay... I..." Mulder gave her hand a comforting squeeze, and she 
nodded. "Right. All right."

Putting a hand on the lid, she opened the box again. She was 
about to step inside when Michelle cleared her throat. "Shoes?"

"Right." She bent down and removed her heels, then stepped into 
the oblong box and lay down. It was surprisingly comfortable, and 
she could feel her eyes closing. "Mulder..."

"Yeah?" he said, kneeling down next to her.

"Be here when I wake up?" Already she was falling asleep, her 
world fading slowly to grey.

"I will, Scully. I promise."

Everything went black.

--

Michelle cleared her throat after Agent Mulder had been staring 
at the coffin for a good five minutes. He started, then looked 
back at her. "Scares you a bit?" she asked. "Something you never 
wanted to see?"

He smiled wistfully, and she had to swallow, *hard.* What was it 
about men that made them suddenly more attractive when they were 
in pain? "Yeah," he said, voice a little harsh. He took a deep 
breath, then sighed. "We've been partners for three years... this 
is just kinda scary."

Michelle shrugged, uncomfortable. "Well, don't worry, she'll wake 
up again tonight. Uh... what were you guys supposed to do here, 
anyway? You weren't *supposed* to get turned into vampires."

He stood, chuckling, and ran a hand through his hair. "No, we 
weren't *supposed* to, that's for sure."

"So... it was that murder, right?"

He nodded, eyes suddenly dark again. She idly wondered how he'd 
managed to get his eyes to go from hazel to green without 
changing the light. "What do you know about it?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. They don't even know who the victim 
was. All I know is the vampire high council's dealing with it."

"Hmmm," Mulder said, eyes narrowing in thought.

"Listen," Michelle said quickly. "Don't even think of messing 
around in this. What's the best you can hope for, anyway? Just 
keep your head down for a week until we can get your partner back 
to normal, then you can leave."

"And what happens to the killer?" Mulder asked, voice deadly 
calm.

Michelle shook her head and turned back up the stairs. "I don't 
know. I'm not a vampire. Ask Mrs. Campbell, when she wakes up." 
She looked back down the stairs, to the agent staring accusingly 
at her from the floor. "Look, they don't even know who the victim 
was."

"He was identified on the police report," Mulder said softly.

"Yeah? That doesn't mean they know if he's a vampire or not. Or 
was, before he got killed. Or whatever." She shook her head. 
"Look, I only know how we do our bookkeeping, not how the vamps 
do it. And they're all asleep right now. Besides, you'd do better 
to keep out of this."

He shrugged and followed her up the stairs, but the gleam was 
still in his eye. "Do you need a ride home?"

"I... yeah, thanks." They made it to the front door, and Michelle 
took one of the extra keys and after a moment's hesitation handed 
it to him. "If I'm not here at sunset, let yourself in."

"Thanks." They walked out to the car, and he opened the passenger 
side door for her. "So, what's it like, being a werewolf?"

"So, what's it like, being a guy?" she shot back sarcastically.

He smiled at her. "Stupid question, right. But I really want to 
know."

"It's..." Michelle shrugged and stepped into the car. "Dunno how 
to describe it."

"Well, have you been a werewolf all your life?"

"Well... yeah. But I got braces when I was twelve."

He glanced at her. "What does that have to do with anything?"

She snorted. "When you shift, your skull changes shape. I 
*couldn't* shift until I got the braces off."

"Ahhhh." He stuck the keys in the ignition and nodded to himself. 
"Didn't think about that." A grin passed over his face, then 
vanished as he turned back to her. "So. Directions?"

"Down this street, left at the third intersection, then a right, 
third house on the right." She paused as he started the car. "You 
know... I never really thought about *being* a were, 'cause most 
of the time I didn't really feel like one."

"Well, what could you do, if you couldn't shapeshift?"

"Oh, I could shift," she said, surprised. "Just not all the way. 
You know? I mean, fur, claws, that sort of stuff's easy. Well... 
with the moon out."

"How does that work?"

"Look," Michelle said, a sudden cold feeling starting to form in 
the pit of her stomach, "How much of this are you going to be 
reporting?"

Mulder glanced at her in surprise, then laughed. "Better to ask 
how much of it they'll believe. Which, since it's coming from me, 
is about nothing."

Michelle studied him for a moment, then shrugged and settled back 
into her seat. He was telling the truth, or at least what he saw 
as the truth. "I... guess," she said finally. "I... okay, 
shifting's easier with the moon out, right? But simple stuff you 
can do any time."

"Like turning into a wolf."

She nodded. "Yeah. That's easy. Comparitively."

"What about silver?"

Michelle flinched involuntarily, and hoped she hid it. "A silver 
bullet is an expensive bullet. Nothing more," she said shakily.

He raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Hey, you think the goth crew would be allowed to stud themselves 
with as much argent as they do if it was harmful to the other 
half of the population?"

He nodded thoughtfully, and Michelle relaxed. Slightly. "This 
house?"

"Yeah. Thanks." The car came to a halt against the curb, and 
Michelle climbed out, rescuing her backpack from the back seat. 
"I'll meet you at Jim's tonight, then?"

"Yeah. And Michelle?" He gave her a half-smile that was somehow 
warmer than any expression she'd seen on him before. "Thanks."

She shrugged, suddenly uncomfortable. "No prob. Later."

She stood watching the car drive away for a couple moments as the 
sun crested the trees and spilled onto the roadway. Then she 
sighed, turned, and mounted the front steps of her house to face 
parental wrath for getting home so late.

--

The light hit Scully's eyes, and she opened them, already feeling 
awake. Somewhat hesitantly she sat up, putting a hand out to 
steady the lid of the coffin, which Mulder had thoughtfully 
raised for her.

"'Evening," he said. She turned her head to see him sitting on 
the edge of the coffin, doing his best to put on a brave smile 
for her. She smiled back, and his turned warmer, more real. 
"How'd you sleep?"

"I feel..." She shook her head. "Amazingly rested. Really awake." 
She smiled at him again until he started looking at her askance.

"Uh, Scully... what are you staring at?"

She realized she *was* staring and broke off, blinking and 
putting a hand to her head. "Oh, God... um, don't take this the 
wrong way, but your jugular looks *really* appealing right about 
now."

He blinked, then shot her a look. "Is there a *right* way to take 
that statement?"

"Uhh..."

He grinned. "Don't worry. Here." He held up a bottle of dark red 
liquid. "Breakfast."

She smiled back and stood up, taking the bottle and opening it. 
It didn't taste quite the same as what she'd drank the previous 
night, and she looked at the bottle curiously as she slipped on 
her shoes. "B positive?"

"Yeah. Michelle said it'd be fine."

"Well, yeah. It's just different."

Mulder nodded and closed the coffin's lid, then sat down on top 
of it. "I've been doing a little information gathering, since I 
had the time," he said. "Our dead guy was John Stevens, a 
contract worker who was going to put in some new lighting. He'd 
been coming around for a couple weeks to check wiring, stuff like 
that."

Scully took another couple swallows of 'breakfast' as he talked. 
"Mm. So you think he found out something and they killed him?"

He shook his head. "No. That's too simple." He frowned. "I just 
wish I knew if he was a vampire before he was killed or not. If 
he wasn't, we can eliminate half the suspects."

She looked at him sideways. "If he *was* a vampire, why *would* 
they kill him?"

"Come on. Just because someone's a vampire, it doesn't mean they 
can't screw up and need punishment. Hey, in a community full of 
bloodsucking people, there's got to be at least one bad apple."

"One bad apple. Heh." Scully shook her head, then chuckled. "Have 
to expect..." She started laughing, then couldn't stop as she 
felt her breath coming faster and in choked gasps. Mulder put a 
hand on her shoulder, then shook her, hard.

"Scully, don't do this," he said. "Scully- Dana, please, don't do 
this, you're already scaring me and I don't know if I can handle 
this- be rational for me, Dana, please!"

Finally she broke out of the hysteria, sobbed once more, and 
leaned against his shoulder, tears streaming down her face. "Oh, 
God," she whispered. "Oh, God, I've been turned into a... a 
soulless... blood-drinking..."

"Not soulless, Dana," Mulder said, still sounding choked. "I 
don't believe that."

"Aiech, no, no B+ for you. You need the good stuff, preferably 
laced with extra hemoglobin."

Scully looked up, blinking tears out of her eyes, to see Jim 
leaning on the railing of the stairs and sending a sympathetic 
glance her way. Shaking herself slightly, she pulled herself out 
of Mulder's embrace and looked down at the bottle of blood she 
was still holding. "What..."

"Ahh... look, here, I'll get some." He dissapeared upstairs for a 
moment, then returned holding a glass bottle that looked like it 
could hold wine, and a glass. Handing the glass to Scully, he 
worked the cork out and poured out a measure of bright red 
liquid.

She studied it dubiously. "And this is..."

"O negative, extra hemoglobin. Try it. You've probably got an 
iron/oxygen imbalance, and this'll help you feel better."

"I don't need two forms of ID or anything?" she asked as Jim put 
the cork back on the bottle.

He chuckled. "I'm sure you're safe. Go ahead."

Scully sighed, then took a sip. It tasted *good* - but she was 
starting to get used to that, and it didn't startle her quite as 
much as it had yesterday.

... God, was that only yesterday?

Regardless, she *did* feel better after finishing the glass. She 
could even almost look Mulder in the eyes as he helped her to her 
feet and gave her an arm for balance as she stepped into her 
shoes. Almost.

"Anyway, sorry to startle you, but mom wanted me to finish 
cleaning up down here before I got absorbed by my homework." Jim 
grinned, then turned to picking up a few more of the candles and 
books that were lying about on the floor. "I'm *really* sorry 
about the mess. Michelle keeps needling me about it."

"Is that why you're sorry about it?" Mulder asked.

Jim snickered. "Mostly, yeah. We don't generally use the basement 
much, 'cept when I have science projects that require some prep 
work."

"Looked more like a satanist's club meeting than a science 
project," Scully said, then clapped a hand over her mouth, 
horrified.

Jim just chuckled at her. "Not quite. Ye Olde Pagan Shrine, 
maybe, but no satanists. Mom's of the opinion that satanists 
track mud on the floors."

Scully digested that for a while, while Mulder said, "I'd like to 
talk to that girl."

Jim put the last couple candles back on the shelf and turned back 
to them. "Who?"

"Celice, the one who bit Scully."

Jim's eyes widened. "Um. Well, I... yeah, I guess..."

"Can you arrange it?"

"Well..." Jim shook himself. "Sure, I mean, I have her number 
upstairs, and I could call her. I just don't see, I mean, I-" He 
shook himself, then grinned. "Sure thing. Gimme a minute."

Jim bolted upstairs, and Scully shot a glance at her partner. 
"What?" he asked.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I've been thinking." He frowned, as if wondering how much to 
tell her. Scully crossed her arms in annoyance. Why couldn't he 
just drop the pretense for once and have out with it?

"Well?" she said, after Mulder had remained unforthcoming for a 
good minute.

"I don't think it was an accident."

Scully stared at him. "What?"

"Celice... you know, biting you. I don't think it was an 
accident. Someone set her up."

Scully shook her head. "You're crazy, Mulder. Who'd *want* to 
turn me into a vampire?"

"It'd put you under their jurisdiction, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah, but it'd be embarassing to have news that we dissapeared 
get back to Washington!"

Mulder shook his head. "Remember what Michelle said? About me not 
remembering any of this? They could fake a car wreck or 
something, and everyone would think that you were dead."

Scully was about to snap at him again when she noticed that his 
hands were shaking. Hesitantly, she reached out to put a hand on 
his shoulder. He met her eyes, and she said firmly, "It won't 
happen. I won't dissapear like that. I promise."

He smiled at her, then rolled his eyes at footsteps on the 
stairs. "Three for three. Those kids have timing, I'll give them 
that."

Michelle paused halfway down the flight and grimaced. "Sorry. Did 
I catch another 'moment'?"

They nodded at her. Michelle snorted. "Sorry. Jim says he's got 
Celice on the phone, and do you want to meet her over at the 
school because it's probably easier that way?"

Mulder frowned. "Easier for what?"

"Well..." Michelle shrugged. "He could get her over here, but 
she'd be really against it. And everyone knows those two don't 
get along, and they don't have any classes together, so it'd look 
kinda suspicious. And you can't go over to her house..."

"Right." Mulder rolled his eyes. "I hate politics."

"I don't see why that should be a problem," Scully said. "Is 
there a place where we can talk without being bothered by the 
staff?"

"Well," Michelle said, "There's always Mr. Gerome's room." At 
their disbelieving glances, she grinned sheepishly. "Or we could 
meet at the edge of campus instead."

"That sounds better," Mulder said.

"Right. I'll tell Jim." She darted upstairs before they could 
argue. Scully traded another glance with Mulder, who was fighting 
to hold back a laugh.

"Should we try to give 'em Four for Four?" he asked, reaching out 
a hand.

She let him hold her for a moment. It was better than thinking 
too much, anyway.

--

Michelle surveyed the moonlit scene with hands on hips, then 
deliberately stepped forward onto the biggest, most brittle twig 
she could see.

The gunshot-like crack echoed off the school buildings and caused 
Celice to jump nearly a foot in the air before whirling around in 
fright. Michelle sighed and shook her head at the vampire. "You," 
she said, stepping forward onto a clearer piece of asphalt, "are 
wired."

Celice frowned, trying to regain her normal composure. "Should 
have known you'd be here, too."

Michelle snorted. "Grow up. Please." She looked around, frowning 
at the darkened school buildings and the woods on the other side 
of the campus fence, then shrugged and gave Jim the high sign.

He strolled out of the woods, followed closely by the agents. 
Celice looked, if possible, more miserable than she had before. 
"God, I'm sorry," she said before either of them could speak.

"Yeah, I'll bet," Mulder said. He sounded much too calm for 
someone who'd had his better half turned into a vampire. "Who put 
you up to it?"

Celice just blinked at him. "W...what?" she asked. Going whiter 
was technically impossible for a goth-vampire in her state, but 
she gave the impression of it anyway.

Michelle effectively tuned out most of the following 
conversation. What she most recalled whenever the situation came 
up was being jerked out of a waking dream by Celice suddenly 
crying, "God, he'll KILL me if I tell, I didn't do anything, but 
he'll kill me if I tell anyone..." before breaking down in utter 
hysteria.

Celice managed to get herself stared at by Four people in varying 
degrees of shock, but it was Jim who pointed out the fallacy of 
her reasoning. "Ahh... You have done something - put a bite mark 
in the back of Agent Scully's neck. I think that counts."

"Shut up!" Celice said through a few sobs.

Jim rolled his eyes. Michelle frowned. "So... wait. Someone *did* 
put her up to this?"

"What'd I say?" Mulder said, looking smug. Michelle got a strong 
urge to bite him, chalked it down to time of the month and 
ignored it.

"But who?" Scully said. "And what makes you think we can do 
anything with the information? Doing *this* might have made us 
more vulnerable."

"'Might have'?" Michelle said sardonically. "Look, unless it's 
Mr. Shreck or someone that everyone hates, you're not going to be 
abl-" She stopped, realizing that Celice had stopped sobbing and 
now was moaning pitiously.

Jim stared at her. "SHRECK?"

"Don't tell," she whimpered. "Don't..."

Michelle traded a glance with her friend. "Shreck's a murderer, 
and we have a snapped preppie on our hands."

"Why does 'everyone' hate Mr. Shreck?" Mulder asked, giving 
Celice a worried glance. Michelle couldn't tell if he was more 
worried for Celice's sake, or that Celice would snap and bite 
*him*.

Michelle looked to Jim. He sighed. "He's the chairman of the 
elder vampire council. He's been it for... a while now, and the 
general consensus is that he's a hidebound old Vlad Tepish 
wannabe who'd be more content taking over the surrounding town 
and decorating the city hall with werewolf bones."

The FBI agents stared at him. "And... they made this paragon the 
vice principal of your high school?" Scully asked.

Michelle shrugged. "They were out of avaliable canidates."

Scully frowned. "So what does that get us?"

Jim looked thoughtful. "Well, for one, nobody else is going to 
stand for this. If we could tell the rest of the adults..."

"Or just the teachers," Michelle said. Then she blinked, suddenly 
struck with a thought. "What about the PA system in the school?"

They glanced at Celice. She stared back at them, then at the 
agents, then at them again. "Ah... you *do* know you're our only 
source of evidence," Jim said after a pause.

She whimpered. "He'll-"

"Not after the others get through with him."

Celice took a deep breath, then another. "All right. You're 
right. Okay. I'll do it." She glared. "But don't make me mention 
that I bit *her*," she jerked her head at Scully. "He ordered me 
to do that. I don't need any blame."

Scully sighed. "Okay, so the only problem is distracting Shreck 
until they get the message."

Mulder had a maniac grin on his face. Michelle felt her hackles 
rise as he said, "I'll take care of Shreck. You guys just raise 
the cavalry."

--

Dana didn't know whether to be glad that Mulder was taking her 
along, or regret that she wouldn't be out of the line of fire 
when everything blew up. She decided on glad - after all, she 
didn't know what kind of trouble he'd get into without her there.

Check that. She could imagine all sorts of trouble that Mulder 
could find himself in. Most of the time it was after he'd gotten 
away from her watchful eye, of course.

Taking a few deep breaths to calm herself, she waited as Mulder 
knocked confidently on Vice Principal Shreck's office door. It 
wasn't so much that she dreaded the man himself. It was the fact 
that she was still highly offbalance by the events of the 
previous evening.

... God, was that just last evening?

Mulder's ebullient confidence was also slightly worrisome. So far 
he hadn't been shot in the head when he'd been so confident about 
a case, but she always had this fear that someone would one day 
take advantage of his confidence to jump out and shoot him a few 
times in the chest.

Shreck opened the door before she could talk herself out of 
coming along. "Ah! Agents," he said, a warm smile on his othewise 
frozen face. "Come in."

They got two steps in before Mulder closed the door and said, 
"Any statements, Mr. Shreck, on why my partner's now a vampire?"

The first thing Scully noticed was that Shreck wasn't a good 
actor. His doubletake was faked with the kind of precision that 
belied a complete lack of surprise. "Oh, my dear Agent Mulder," 
he started to say.

"Cut the crap, Shreck." Mulder put a foot onto one of the guest 
chairs and leaned forward. "The games aren't funny anymore. It 
was a joke to lead us around by the nose yesterday, but today we 
are getting answers."

The elder vampire scowled. "I don't know what you think you're 
doing, Agent Mulder-"

"I think that I'm getting information. That was a nice little 
vacation you had the night after the murder, wasn't it?"

"I came down with the flu," Shreck replied flatly.

Mulder grinned. "I don't doubt it. After all, from what I've 
heard, blood with type AB isn't too palatable to vampires with 
blood type O."

Shreck looked about ready to come at Mulder's throat right then, 
but that was nothing compared to his expression when the PA came 
on and Celice started accusing him in a shaky voice of murdering 
a completely innocent man on campus and bringing the Government 
down on everyone's heads.

"I am going to rip that girl to pieces," he growled, his eyes 
taking on an unearthly red glow. He turned to focus on Mulder. 
"Right after I do the same to you."

Scully yelled, Shreck leapt, and Mulder made a slight motion with 
one hand. The next thing Scully knew, Shreck was moaning on the 
floor covering his eyes with a hand, a horrid rash covering his 
face and neck.

She stared at the fallen administrator for a moment, then her 
doctor's instincts took over and she rushed to his side and 
pulled back his arm. His eyes were shut tight against the 
relatively weak light of the office. His face looked as if he'd 
spent a few hours in direct sunlight without sunscreen.

... Direct sunlight?

She looked back to see her partner admiring his little full-
spectrum-light flashcard. "Not bad for Four-ninedy-nine, huh?" he 
asked, as the door opened and the entire adult vampire population 
of the high school came pouring in.

--

Michelle sat on top of Mr. Gerome's desk, clear for the first 
time in years of student papers to be graded. "Trying to make a 
good impression for them?" she asked her teacher, who was 
shoveling the recently-cleared papers into his briefcase.

He gave her a stern look. "Perhaps," he said calmly, "I have 
decided to take these home for another look before I pass them 
back. I believe your essay on  applying Old Celtic traditions in 
recent fantasy literature is in there."

She grinned at him. "I defer, as always, to your superior 
judgment."

"Very good. Go away."

Michelle chuckled and left her perch. Louis looked up from his 
pile of worksheets and grimaced. "Oh ye of little work," he said, 
weilding his red pen on another student's efforts.

"Oh ye of little patience. TAing is fun, doncha know."

"Oh, really? You want to do this next year?"

Michelle sighed. "Can't. Jim talked me into taking vampire 
physiology."

That caught the attention of both men. "Interesting choice," 
Gerome said as he placed his briefcase on the desk.

Louis was more to the point. "Nutcase! Isn't that... that..."

"Well, Mr. Krieger's teaching it, so it can't be all bad."

Louis snorted. "Guess so. I suppose I have to do something 
reckless like take it as well?"

"Of course. Or go with Jim and take werewolf physio." She paused, 
then continued, "I'd appreciate it if you'd back me up, though. 
Jim doesn't need any more ego stroking."

He smiled absently. "I'll think about it. When are they supposed 
to get here?"

"They're supposed to stop by..." she checked the clock. "Nowish, 
after they get through with Mr. Krieger. He wanted to make sure 
she was okay first."

"Don't blame them."

"Well, it shouldn't be too bad. I mean, how's Theresa handling 
it?"

Louis gave her a look, then viciously crossed off someone's 
answer. "She's back with Shane. Since Tuesday."

Michelle blinked. "Oh." Gerome was tactfully not paying 
attention. "Oh, Louis... I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well, it's not your fault." He looked up and trapped her 
in his beautiful green eyes. "I guess I can forgive a friend, 
hey?"

They shared a smile until footsteps outside heralded the arrival 
of the other party. Louis put the pen down and stood as the door 
opened, revealing Jim, leading the two agents and Mr. Krieger. 
Scully got about six steps into the room before she noticed 
Louis.

Her eyes widened slightly. "You're Louis?"

He smiled, and nodded at her. "That's what the ID says."

They watched each other for another few seconds while Michelle 
covered her eyes with a hand. Louis was simply gorgeous, spelled 
C-H-I-C-K M-A-G-N-E-T. It wasn't just that he was blonde, tall, 
and muscular, either. She knew perfectly well that he might as 
well have a halo for the innocent-boy expression that he normally 
wore. Of course, he was her friend first and slight-romantic-
interest-maybe second, so she couldn't attest to any innocence.

Jim finally broke the tableu in typical James Campbell style. 
"See, if I had a body like that..." he said, then looked innocent 
as he was suddenly the target of six seperate glares. "What? 
What?!"

Scully threw up her hands. "All right, enough, enough. What do I 
have to do to get this over with?"

Jim nodded in Louis' direction helpfully. "Bite him."

She stared at him. Louis shrugged, happily indifferent to the 
prospect of this lady FBI agent sinking her fangs into his neck. 
Michelle cleared her throat. "In the wrist works fine," she said 
helpfully.

Louis, thank the Goddess, was too nice to glare at her. Scully 
looked relieved, but still nervous. "Okay," she said, taking a 
couple steps forward. Louis helpfully rolled up his sleeve and 
held out his arm.

Seeming to make up her mind all at once, Scully grabbed his wrist 
and bit down into it. After a few moments, she pulled back, a 
hand over her mouth. "Erm," she said. Agent Mulder decided to be 
proprietory and male, and put his arms around her.

"Sit down," Michelle advised as Louis clamped a hand over his 
wrist. "You're about to go into shock."

"I'll keep that in mind," Scully said calmly, before she passed 
out.

Jim grinned at Louis, who had fished a hankerchief out of his 
pocket and was tying it around his injured limb. "I'll never 
understand your effect on women."

Louis smacked him with the bloody hankerchief.

--

"Are you okay?"

It was the first thing that he'd said to her in hours. Since 
they'd left that high school, anyway. Practically the first thing 
he'd said since she'd been... cured.

The first thing she noticed was how different the world looked. 
She hadn't noticed so much turning *into* a vampire - the rest of 
the world had made it slightly difficult to concentrate. But 
normality... colors were brighter, shadows darker. Light didn't 
hurt as much. It was as if the rods and cones in her eyes had 
decided to restabilize.

And, of course, she didn't have the yearning for blood. That was 
kinda nice.

"I'm fine," she answered when she realized he'd been waiting. She 
gave him a smile, hoping that would reassure him. "Just... 
daydreaming, I guess."

"Well, stop it. You know Skinner doesn't let anything but cold 
hard reality into the building." He grinned back, slightly 
sardonic.

She had to chuckle, but it caught in her throat. Cold, hard 
reality didn't allow for vampires and werewolves. Sure, she'd 
seen some weird things over the past few years... but it had 
never really touched her. She'd never had to really believe.

Well, now, she didn't have much choice, did she?

They got out of the car and headed into the hotel to pack. There 
wasn't much; she hadn't had much chance to unpack. Shuddering 
slightly, she pulled the suitcase out to the rental car.

Mulder was already there; he lived straight from the suitcase and 
never unpacked anything. She wondered if he even unpacked at 
home.

"Let me get that," he offered, then grabbed and loaded the 
suitcase before she could protest. Her amused smile lasted until 
he suddenly cursed and pulled his hand back, blood welling on a 
scrape on the back of his hand.

"Here, let me see," she said, reaching out.

"It's nothing," he protested, pulling out of her grip and 
slamming the trunk closed. "Come on, we'll be late for the 
flight."

Scully looked down at the blood on her fingers. Then, somehow in 
a trance, she raised it to her lips and tasted it.

Type B, her tongue told the rest of her brain, Rh negative, no 
diseases, no addictions, could use more oxygen. Iron content 
fine.

She wasn't supposed to be able to do that.

"I'm coming," she said absentmindedly, and walked around the side 
of the car. She ignored her partner's glance as she got inside 
and buckled her seatbelt.

It didn't matter, she told herself as the car started. It didn't 
matter, it was a harmless side effect, one that was dublicated by 
machines and chemistry anyway. It didn't matter that she could 
taste someone's blood and figure out everything about it from one 
or two drops.

But somehow, as Mulder drove them away from the town of vampires 
and werewolves, she didn't think it was just that.

-- FINIS --